


Here x and x Now

by HanaKaicho



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Gen, Harm to Animals, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Personal Growth, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-07 16:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19213396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanaKaicho/pseuds/HanaKaicho
Summary: Rumors of a new species of beast have surfaced and Kite is on the case. Ging, Gon, Killua and Alluka all come along. Throughout their journey, the gang learns about themselves and each other. Ging and Killua discover they have a lot more in common than they thought; Gon and Kite struggle with feelings of guilt, failure, and weakness; and Alluka and Nanika get on their way to realizing their goal of being their own person, no longer sheltered or hidden away. Ging and Kite also start to get more serious about their responsibilities as parents for the first time since losing custody of Gon.





	1. Yorbia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our journey begins with a few stumbling blocks, insecurity, loneliness, and stubbornness, but a little care can go a long way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! We're here at the beginning! I hope you all stick with me the whole time! I had a lot of fun with this and got to do some fun character exploration in it and I hope y'all will enjoy it as much as I did :) in the last chapter, there is some kinda graphic violence against animals but it does get fixed up pretty fast and I'll also remind y'all and let y'all know when it's coming in the chapter :)
> 
> Without further ado, please enjoy my hxhbb19 piece!

Kite looked at himself in the mirror. It was a blessing that his new body matured as quickly as it did.  He looked like an adult again now and overall much the same as he did in his previous life. His face had changed. His long nose was now short and his lips were fuller. His color scheme had changed too but his style remained largely the same. His wardrobe now had a mostly darker color scheme but he had traded out his signature blue hat for one of a soft pink color. He had grown to about the same height, though a little bit shorter, and his proportions were the same. He could go out in public with Ging and not worry about being affectionate and giving people the impression Ging was up to something disgusting and illegal. People had already come up with enough reasons to dislike him without adding that.

The swell of breasts on his chest wasn't ideal and neither were his full hips but he tried not to think about it. After hormone replacement therapy designed for humans failed to have the desired effects on him, the Hunter's Association had agreed to research into developing a therapy for use on Chimera Ants. However, the fact of Kite’s biology, that he and the rest of his species were all largely genetically distinct, meant he was pretty much the only one they could test on and hope for useful results. Progress was slow going and they were all hesitant to move forward with much of any surgery when it was hard to impossible to know what the long term results would be.

Part of him wished Gon were an infant again so he could have the experience of breastfeeding his child. He had undergone surgery before becoming pregnant with Gon and hadn't been able to produce milk for him. He'd had to ask Mito to nurse Gon for him which she'd agreed to, though not without a healthy helping of judgemental looks and muttered comments.

“Mom!!” Gon said, bounding into the room and bringing Kite back into the present.

Kite smiled down at him. “What is it, Gon?”

“Let's go!” Gon said. “Going on a hunt with you and Ging is gonna be so fun! And Killua and Alluka too! What kind of beast do you think it's gonna be?” Gon's gaze flicked between Kite and the hem of his shirt in his hands.

“You don't need to force eye contact with me, Gon. You can relax,” Kite said, ruffling Gon's hair. “There isn't a lot of information about it but the reports we do have don't seem to agree on what it looks like. Some are reporting it as a furry beast and others are saying it's feathered. But Magasku Island has a very diverse ecosystem so it's possible that people are seeing two beasts or even that they're referring to the same beast and it has both fur and feathers. It could really be anything, but that's the fun part, right?”

“Yeah!” Gon answered. Then his expression dropped, his enthusiasm visibly lower.

“Gon?” said Kite.  “Is something wrong?”

Gon looked surprised at the question and looked away.  “Huh? No! I’m fine! I’m gonna go help Killua and Alluka finish packing!”

Gon stole a peek at Kite to see if he bought his attempt to brush off the change in his demeanor.

“Well, I guess… deep down I'm not really sure I should come,” he admitted. “Because I still don't have my Nen back. And…last time…even with my Nen I wasn't any help anyway...”

His chest was tight, remembering Kite’s death on their last hunt together.

Kite nodded. “Yes, it's possible something like that could happen again. But it's just as possible that it won't. After all, that was the first time we had ever encountered beasts who could use Nen which was something they only came to do by chance.”

“Even if we did,” Kite continued, “Things would be different. Your father is one of the strongest and most skilled hunters in the world. I'm fairly certain he's even stronger than I am.”

Gon shrugged and nodded but seemed unconvinced. “You said there were rumors of poachers too, right? What if they can use Nen? I won't be able…able to…”

“Gon, listen,” Kite cut Gon off, putting his hand on Gon's shoulder. “It's not your job to take care of us and protect us. _We're_ supposed to be doing those things for _you_. We aren't bringing you with us for support in a fight. It's so we can spend time together. Because we love you.”

“If we run into Nen users who attack us, Ging and I can take care of ourselves and Killua will be there too and we all know he's a very skilled hunter as well,” he said. “Everything will be fine.”

Gon hummed a little and moved forward to press his forehead into Kite’s torso. He wrapped his arms around Kite and, with a smile in his voice, said, “Okay. Thanks, mom.”

“Of course, Gon,” Kite answered, resting his hand on Gon's head.

Gon looked up at Kite a moment later with a grin and said, “Okay! I'm gonna go help Killua and Alluka, for real this time!”

He let go of Kite and trotted off. Kite watched him go and prayed to himself that Gon would grow taller. He was only seventeen now, so there was still time, but Kite had expected Gon to have grown more than this by now.

To no one in particular, he prayed, _Please don't curse my son to be as short as his father…_

***

From the housing the Hunter's Association provided to Kite in Swaldani City to the island of Magasku would be a long journey, several weeks at least. It might have been a quicker trip if Kite hadn't insisted on going on foot whenever possible. Hunts were just more enjoyable for him on foot and it had been a couple of years since his last hunt between his rebirth and the temporary quarantine the Association had put Kite and the other Chimera Ants they knew about under.

It had really been more of close supervision but it lasted almost two years, during which Kite hadn't been allowed to even leave Swaldani City.

He'd be damned if he was going to spend this hunt in airships and cars when he'd been surrounded by them nearly since his rebirth.

Gon, Killua, and Alluka chatted pleasantly and held most of the conversation on their own for the first good while. Ging and Kite chimed in when addressed, but largely weren't needed.

As they got farther away from Swaldani City, Kite started trailing behind the group.

“Are we going too hard for you?” Killua asked. “Should we slow down or take a rest?”

“It's been so long,” he mused. “I just want to appreciate the scenery properly. I'll be fine.”

It was a good enough answer for everyone so no one noticed right away when Kite suddenly disappeared as they walked into a wooded area far enough away from the city no one could see it anymore.

“Mom, remember that worm Killua found when we were traveling together last time? The one that would make itself longer to escape?” Gon asked cheerily as they came up to a babbling stream. When Kite didn't answer, Gon turned around. “Mom?”

Everyone suddenly realized Kite was nowhere to be found. They hurriedly retraced their path into the trees and found Kite lying prone on the forest floor, his face in the grass and moss. His long, red hair was splayed out across his back and onto the ground a bit.

He was completely still as they approached, giving more indication that he might be aware of their presence.

“...Mom?” Gon asked with trepidation.

Kite swished his tail in the air and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Ging crouched down by Kite in the grass. “Kite, what are you doing?”

Though heavily muffled because Kite didn't lift or turn his head, Ging made out Kite saying, “I missed the grass.”

Ging couldn't resist a chuckle as he sat down next to his husband. “You guys should just put your stuff down. We're probably going to be here for a while,” he said.

***

It was late and the full moon was hanging high in the sky when Nanika quietly left camp and made her way over to a pond the group had found earlier before they made camp.

She considered going swimming but Alluka objected on account of the cool temperature of the water and the night. The two of them generally tried to only do things with their body that they mutually agreed to. She settled for pulling their skirt up a bit and dangling their feet into the water.

She looked up at the moon. It was huge and bright. She liked it a lot. It was pretty and it reminded her of Killua using his Nen with the way it glowed white.

She loved Killua.

And Gon! She loved Gon!

And of course she loved Alluka but it was nice to interact with people other than the girl she shared a body with.

It was a little lonely to not be able to talk to Killua and Gon. She knew it was because they were traveling with people who didn't know that she was sharing this body with Alluka. Killua told Nanika it was dangerous for people to know about her, that people would take advantage of her and hurt her and Alluka.

“Miss…Gon,” she said out loud to herself. “Miss…friend.”

Her grasp on the language used by Alluka and the rest of the people she'd spoken to was still limited. She didn't use it much. She and Alluka didn't need to use it to communicate and otherwise she mostly used it to request payment for wishes. She didn't have much clear memory from before she joined with Alluka but she knew her kind didn't use this language or any other spoken language at all in their usual forms. They were telepathic, though the people and animals they interacted with often experienced their communication as though they were speaking.

But even with the way she sometimes struggled to find the right words and her speech was broken, Killua and Gon had never made her feel less for it. Gon was quick to ask questions if he didn't understand what she said while Killua tended to just nod and pretend he understood.

While she gazed at the moon and thought, Alluka went to sleep. Nanika still needed to let their body sleep as well, their minds weren't the only parts of them that needed sleep, but she wasn't ready yet.

With Alluka asleep, Nanika got a thought.

She got up and walked to the edge of the water where she could see her reflection. Fascinated by their body, Nanika took this opportunity to observe and study it. This body Alluka found herself experiencing a certain disconnect and discomfort with. Nanika knew it was hard for Alluka to look at their body these days so they were never naked unless necessary and during most of the times they had to be naked, Nanika would handle things. But Alluka was asleep inside now and Nanika removed their clothes and surveyed their appearance, going over the different external parts of their body and naming them off to herself. She was vaguely aware that humans would find their nudity inappropriate but she was relatively certain she was alone and wouldn't bother anyone.

She didn't understand what about this body's configuration denoted that she and Alluka must be a man. She was familiar enough with the humans that she knew some appearances looked masculine and some feminine and Alluka had explained the parts of their body that made her most uncomfortable but humans all seemed to look so similar, especially given that they wore clothes whenever they interacted with each other. She struggled to identify men and women as their designation.

Having a physical body was strange.

But as long as it was too dangerous for people to know about Nanika's existence, she supposed she didn't really have one, she just rode around in one. She reached down and touched her reflection on the water. Her expression distorted into ripples.

She was lonely. She had to hide her existence altogether. She wanted to keep Gon and Killua and Alluka safe and she knew what that meant for her but it still hurt. She wasn't just different from humans, she was lesser. Less desired.

Undesired.

She gave into her sadness and crouched down in the water, put her cheek against her knees, and started to cry.

She had only been crying for a few seconds when there was a rustling in the brush and the sound of someone heading quickly towards her. Without looking to see who or what was approaching, she stood quickly to run. Before she could, however, she was wrapped tightly in familiar arms.

“Nanika! Are you okay?” Gon asked.

Being embraced by Gon, Nanika broke down into tears in earnest which made him squeeze her even tighter. He realized she was shivering too and he released her to take off his jacket and wrap it around her shoulders and then held her close again under the jacket as he guided them out of the water.

“Why are you out here like this?” he asked. “What's wrong? I won't know if you don't tell me.”

“Miss Gon, miss Killua. Sad. Lonely,” Nanika said, relatively evenly. She started to cry harder again as she continued, “Want…pat hea…d please…”

Gon immediately obliged, going up on his tiptoes to throw in a couple of kisses on the top of her head for good measure. He rocked them side to side slightly, soothingly.

Nanika eventually calmed down and Gon let her go to grab her clothes for her. She accepted them from him and got redressed. It wasn't uncomfortable to be naked because Gon was here now, she and Alluka had bathed with Gon and Killua before. However, it was very cold at that point, especially now that she wasn't pressed up against Gon's very warm body, and getting redressed was her best way of warming up.

“Lo…nely,” Nanika said when she had finished redressing and sat on the shore with Gon.

“Because you have to stay hidden?” Gon asked.

Nanika nodded. “Want…friend…umm…” she paused and pressed her two pointer fingers together “...time.”

Her frown deepened. “Killua say danger. Alluka, Gon, Killua…Nanika. Need hide,” she said. She started the beginning of her next sentence with a shake of her head and, “Want Alluka, Gon, Killua danger. Know need hide. Do…do hide….” She dropped her head in defeat.

Gon nodded back with a frown. “Killua wants to keep you and Alluka safe,” he said. “But you can't be all cut off and hiding all the time. I'll talk to him, okay?”

Nanika gave a tiny nod and leaned into Gon's shoulder. “Ai…”

“You what?” Gon asked when she didn't say anything else. “Oh. Never mind, sorry.”

She shook her head. “Okay,” Nanika assured him.

They sat in silence for a while, looking at the reflection of the moon in the pond.

“H…how know?” Nanika asked.

“Hm?” Gon gave Nanika a puzzled look.

Nanika paused, formulating her elaboration.

“Gon come. Not see - ” she pointed at her face as Gon watched intently “ - know…know Nanika. How know?”

Gon smiled and looked back out over the water. “Well, I know Alluka doesn't like being naked so I was pretty sure it was you.”

Nanika didn't respond but his explanation made sense.

“Gon…”

“Hm?” Gon looked over at the top of Nanika's head as she leaned into him again.

“…Th…ank you.”

Gon sighed happily and rested his head on hers. “You're welcome.”

***

Gon quietly reentered the tent he shared with Killua after getting back to camp with Nanika.

“Gon?” said Killua, sounding groggy.

“Ah, sorry, Killua!” Gon said in a hushed voice. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, where'd you go?” Killua asked, sitting up. “You left a while ago.”

“I followed Nanika out to that pond we saw earlier,” Gon answered. “We talked for a while. She was pretty upset. She's lonely having to hide all the time.”

Gon didn't need to see Killua's face to know he was frowning.

“It's not safe,” Killua said after a long pause. “She knows that and she just has to accept it for now.”

“Killua…” Gon frowned as well. “It's not fair to her. We let her and Alluka share their time more evenly when it's just the three of us. Do you just not trust my mom and Ging?”

When Killua spoke again, Gon could hear he'd turned his face away from Gon. “I don't,” he asserted. “I barely know Ging. And Kite…I dunno. I just can't.”

Gon didn't speak right away. “She does know it's dangerous. She said she'd keep hiding because she doesn't want to put us in danger,” he said. “But she's really hurting, Killua. We gotta do _something_. What if we only talk about Nanika to people we trust?”

The air in the tent was tense as Killua bit back a remark that Gon trusted everyone.

“...I'm going back to sleep.”

Killua laid back down and turned his back to Gon.

“We could swear my mom and Ging to secrecy,” Gon said. “They'd understand.”

“Yeah?” Killua said harshly. “And what about when they _do_ keep the secret but manipulate and use Nanika themselves, huh?”

Killua's words hurt. His distrust in Ging and Kite felt like distrust in Gon's judgement by extension. It wasn't like he'd never made mistakes on who could or couldn't be trusted, especially when they were younger, but he was almost 17. Didn't Killua trust him to do better by now?

Further, in the time they'd spent together, Gon had built a bond between himself and his parents and it hurt to hear someone speaking badly of them, especially when it was someone else he deeply cared about. Gon was silent and still for a long time.

“I'm gonna…I need some space,” Gon said. “I'm gonna sleep somewhere else.”

“Wait, Gon - ” Killua sat up again and reached out to Gon but he had already gotten up and moved out of the tent.

He paused and turned back long enough to say, “Good night, Killua. I love you,” and quietly disappeared into the moonlit night.

“Shit,” Killua swore at himself. After fuming at himself for a few seconds, he lay back down and whispered, “I love you too, Gon,” to the empty space next to him.

That hadn't gone well.

***

The next morning, the group came to the beach, marking the near end of their time on Yorbia.

“I imagine you're going to suggest we swim across now, huh?” Ging joked at Kite.

“No, of course not. Possums are good swimmers but none of you would be able to keep up,” Kite said. “We'll be taking a rowboat.”

Ging and Killua both turned to stare at Kite. In stereo, they both cried, “What??”

“What?” Kite asked impassively. “It isn't that far.”

“It's across the ocean!” Killua griped.

“It would take weeks!” Ging added.

“Guys, he's joking,” Alluka said, giving them a bemused look.

Kite maintained his poker face as Ging and Killua looked at Alluka and back to him a few times before cracking a small grin. He nodded. “Yes, it's a joke. Of course we're planning to take an airship.”

Killua and Ging both heaved a sigh of relief while Alluka laughed at them. Gon looked a little disappointed.

As they made their way down the beach to the nearby city of Jaba, Killua walked close to laughed and said, “Did you see Ging's face when Kite said we were gonna row to Oska?”

“You too, Killua,” Gon answered, his tone devoid of its usual enthusiasm.

Killua felt himself deflate at Gon's response.

“Yeah…me too. I guess I bought it just like Ging did,” he said. _Fuck! He's still mad. Of course he's still mad_.

“Do you think we'll get separate cabins or do you think we'll all stay together?” Killua tried to engage Gon again.

“I dunno,” Gon answered simply.

Killua nodded and stopped trying to get conversation going with Gon. He was his boyfriend but it figured that Gon still wouldn't want to interact much if he was upset with Killua.

_This is gonna be a long flight._

***

That night on the airship in their cabin, Ging and Kite held each other close.

“Ging, I'm so happy to have our son back,” Kite said. “And I'm also fucking thrilled to finally get out of that city. I don't want to enter Swaldani City again for at least a year.”

“Wow, breaking out the cussing, huh? You really _do_ feel strongly about it, don't you?” Ging teased.

“I _hated_ it!” Kite complained, gesticulating into the air. “I'm a beast hunter! And a chimera ant and a possum too now! I can't just be trapped in a city for months on end.”

Ging chuckled. “You couldn't stand that even before you got turned into an ant.”

Kite groaned.

Ging ran his fingers through his husband's hair, eliciting a sigh.

“Still like that, huh?” Ging asked with a grin in his voice.

“I don't keep it long just for looks, you know,” Kite replied. “It makes me get misgendered more but getting my hair played with might just make up for it.”

He rolled over and held Ging's face as he kissed him. “Especially when you're the one playing with it.”

“Mmm, yeah?” Ging said. “And what were you saying about our mini me? Not to mention his short-haired, blue eyed mini old-you boyfriend?”

Kite laughed.

“I don't think taste in men is genetic, Ging. But I admit, it is quite the coincidence,” he said, kissing Ging again with a smile.

Kite felt a tingling satisfaction in his chest, thinking again of having his son back. “It's so nice to be together as a family again,” he said. “You and me and our son.”

“And his boyfriend. And his boyfriend's little sister,” Ging added.

“Okay so our family is growing,” Kite said. “I like that idea. Having a family with you.”

“Yeah? Good. Because you're stuck with us,” Ging said, feigning a serious tone.

Kite laughed again. “I think I can handle that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying the story so far! Constructive feedback is welcome and appreciated and feel free to say hi on Twitter where I'm @galvoril or tumblr where I'm patch-of-shore! :>
> 
> Also, I have a modified world map showing where stuff happens but it's pretty rough so I wasn't going to pay it but let me know if y'all want to see it and I'll clean it up and post it :)


	2. Oska

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next continent up is Oska, the continent just north of Yorbia. The group has to fight against both their fellow people and nature here and Ging finds out he and Killua might have more in common than he realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made a small edit in chapter one that I missed. Gon is seventeen, not sixteen.
> 
> Also I decided to just go ahead and put all the chapters up now. Enjoy!

By the time they landed, though still a bit subdued and reserved towards Killua, Gon seemed to be mostly back to his usual self, much to Killua's relief. They set out almost immediately, stopping only to replenish water and stock up on a couple of foods. 

“There should be a bridge over this river near here,” Kite said as they moved into a less forested area.

The river was big and powerful. They had been hearing it rushing for a half an hour already and they still couldn't see it yet. 

Gon closed his eyes and sniffed.  “Yep! It’s just a little south from here!”

“How do you do that?” Killua and Alluka asked, Killua’s tone was incredulous, while Alluka’s was impressed and curious.

Gon shrugged.  “I can just smell it.  The wet rope and wood.”

They came to the bridge not long later.

“I don’t trust that,” Killua said.

The rope bridge looked pretty aged.  The rope was fraying in many places and several of the planks of wood had already splintered or fallen out.

“This is the only way across for a while and it's too far to jump, especially since we'd have to carry Gon and Alluka,” said Kite.  “But we should be fine to cross. It looked about the same when I crossed it last, and it was sturdy enough then. It wouldn’t hurt to be cautious, though.”

They made a plan to cross.  Kite would go first, then Killua, Gon, Alluka, and finally Ging.  

The bridge creaked and rocked more than anyone was particularly comfortable with, but it was their only way to easily cross the river, so they hurried to cross and put the bridge behind them. Even Gon seemed to find the bridge a bit unpleasant and nerve-wracking. 

He was the first to notice that they were about to be in danger. 

The group was all more than half way across when Gon smelled fresh, wet dirt, the anchors behind them pulling out of the ground. 

“Run!” he called. “The bridge is gonna fall!” 

All at once the bridge gave way beneath them and, as it did, a few things happened and a few things almost happened.

Kite was close enough to the other side that he made it across running. Ging and Killua both successfully made the jump to the other side of the river.

Gon almost made the jump. He might have made it on his own but he had grabbed Alluka’s hand and tried to bring her with him. Ging almost caught Gon, but Gon thrust his hand forward to grab the wall just as Ging reached for him and they failed to connect. Without his Nen to boost his strength, though, Gon very nearly didn't reach the other side and was barely hanging on with one hand a few feet down from the edge.

“Gon, hold on,” Kite called over the roar of the river.  “We’re coming down to get you.”

Gon gripped both the dirt and Alluka's hand as hard as he could. He could already feel his muscles burning. Thoughts spun wildly in his head. Memories of losing his Nen after losing his fight against Knuckle and how weak he felt then led to memories of every other time he'd felt weak or powerless. 

“Gon!” Alluka called up to him. “It's okay! We're going to be fine!”

Even with her reassurance, Gon still couldn't bring his mind under control. 

Alluka could feel that they likely wouldn't make it until someone got down to them before Gon's grip failed. She looked and felt around for somewhere to anchor herself with her hand or feet but found nothing. She considered making an anchor herself by digging a chakram into the dirt but with the spray from the river beneath them, she knew it would quickly be too slick to grip or stand on. 

“Brother!” she cried. “Gon isn't going to be able to hold us both and there’s no way for me to support myself! You have to let us do something!” 

“It's too dangerous!” Killua called back. 

“And us falling into a rushing river isn't?” she challenged. “What are they even going to do? Don’t you trust them yet?”

Gon grit his teeth. Hopelessness set in when he looked up and saw how far away from him Ging still was. The stinging in his fingers and the burning in his arms weren’t anything he couldn’t handle but he could feel his grip loosening all the same.  He tried to redouble his grip in response, striving desperately to hold on long enough for Ging to reach them but his fingers buckled and slid off of the rock he had been holding onto.

With no further response from Killua, Alluka started to call up to Gon to tell him to give Nanika an order but she was cut off as his grip slipped and they plummeted to the river below.

Gon and Alluka’s screams and their sudden stop as the two of them hit the water rang in everyone's ears.

“Alluka!” Killua screamed.

He tried to dive into the water to go after her but Kite grabbed him and held him as Ging jumped after Gon and Alluka instead.

“Fucking let me GO, Kite!” Killua yelled. “That's my sister! I have to go after her!”

“You won’t be helpful in the water; your Nen is electricity. You could kill them,” Kite said.  “What we need to do is to get downstream so we can help them down there. If we run, we should be able to overtake them.”

They ran, but as fast as they went, the river carried Ging, Alluka, and Gon faster and Killua and Kite arrived at a landing as the other three were making their way out of the water there.

Gon had already made his way onto the rocky bank and Ging was helping Alluka to shore. 

“Alluka! Gon!” Killua cried with relief. 

But any relief he felt quickly faded when he saw Alluka's glare. 

“Brother, I know you were trying to be careful but that was  _ not  _ okay!” Alluka spat as she stormed up to him.  “You insisted on taking the risk that  _ maybe _ Ging and Kite weren’t trustworthy to know my secret when Gon and I could have died from us trying to keep it.”

“I wanted to come after you myself-”

“And you  _ know  _ Kite!” she cut Killua off. “You traveled with him for  _ months  _ back before you came to get me! I know our parents trained you to be suspicious and not to trust people but even by now you can’t trust him?”

“You’re not even protecting me anymore, you’re hiding me! Just like  _ them _ !”

Killua felt like he’d been slapped.

“And look at Gon!” Alluka gestured to Gon, kneeling behind her on the riverbank looking utterly defeated. “How could you put that kind of burden on him? You know he blames himself for what happened! He thinks  _ he _ failed us! He feels like  _ he’s  _ the one who put us in danger! I don’t! I blame  _ you _ !” She punctuated her sentence by stabbing a finger into Killua's chest. 

Having said her piece, Alluka fumed off towards the treeline to get some privacy to wring out her clothes and dry off as best she could. Without looking back, she called, “You owe everyone an apology but you  _ better _ apologize to Gon before you try to come apologize to me!”

After a few moments of a silence that was highly uncomfortable for everyone still present, Kite beckoned Ging over. 

“We should give them some space to talk,” Kite said quietly. “There's a town nearby. We should see about finding a place to stay for the night. You three need to have the chance to properly dry off and warm up.”

Ging nodded. 

“We'll go find a place to stay tonight while you talk,” Kite told the boys. “There's a town nearby. Call us if you need to find us before we're back.”

For a while after they were alone, neither Gon nor Killua so much as moved. 

Alluka's words echoed in Killua's head before settling on her order to apologize to Gon. 

He looked up and saw Gon, still kneeling in the gravel. He was slouched and his head was hanging. His face was difficult to see but Killua didn't need to see it with his eyes to know what expression he had on. Guilt felt like a knife in his heart. Alluka was right. He had caused this, asked too much of Gon. 

Killua walked up to Gon and put his hand on Gon's shoulder “Gon - ” 

“I'm sorry for being so weak, Killua,” Gon interrupted. “I'm always too weak when you need me. I'm  _ always _ too weak.”

“That's not true! You're not too weak!” 

“It was my job to beat Knuckle so we could both go to the NGL and save Kite,” he continued.  “I was too weak to help Kite when Pitou attacked us the first time. I couldn’t even keep myself together when we got to the NGL and needed to work together to take on Pitou. And just now…”

“Gon…” 

“Now without my Nen I'm weaker than ever,” Gon started to cry. “I barely held us up as long as I did. I shouldn't even be here. I shouldn't have come.”

Killua was at a loss as Gon dissolved into tears. 

“I’m sorry, Killua.”

“No, Gon,  _ I'm _ sorry,” said Killua. “I shouldn't have expected you to carry that burden on your own and it was my hesitation that put you under that kind of pressure. Alluka was right and I should have listened to her.”

Gon remained largely shut down, his hands clenched into fists pressing into his knees. As Killua watched Gon kneel before him, wracked with guilt, Killua realized he knew what Gon needed to hear. 

“Gon?”

Gon forced out a barely recognizable, “Huh?” 

“I forgive you.” 

A hiccup and the sudden cessation of the shedding of tears indicated Gon's shock. He looked up at Killua, eyes wide. 

“For everything. For losing to Knuckle, for losing your cool about Pitou, for not being able to hold you and my sister from falling into the river, all of it. I forgive you, Gon.” 

Suddenly, Gon was crashing against him, crushing their lips together with bruising force and wrapping his arms around Killua. They toppled over, landing on Killua's back in the rocks. Gon gripped Killua tightly as he desperately kissed him and Killua could feel tears streaming from Gon's eyes again. 

When Gon finally stopped kissing Killua and crying on him, electing to nuzzle his cheek into Killua's neck instead, Killua asked quietly, “Can you forgive me? For…for putting you in danger and…for what I said that night after you talked to Nanika?”

Gon hesitated for a moment and then nodded against Killua.

“You know,” Gon murmured. “When we fell, I thought…I thought I was gonna die without getting to make up with you. That was terrifying.”

He tightened his grip on Killua. 

“What if I died then? Would you think I was angry at you forever?”

_Yes._ _And I'd hate myself for it._ Killua thought. 

“I dunno, probably,” he said. “But you're still here so don't worry about it.” 

“Yeah…”

They were both silent for a moment until Killua said, “You know, I didn't blame you for that stuff. You didn't do anything wrong. But if it makes you feel better, I'll tell you I forgive you whenever you need to hear it, okay?”

Killua felt the quiver of Gon's face as he started crying again. “Thank you, Killua! I love you!” 

“Hey now, don't get carried away,” Killua said. “You better return the favor, got it?”

“Mm-hmm!” Gon answered, nodding to emphasize his response. 

“Good. And…” Killua paused. “...I love you too, Gon.”

***

Despite Kite's desires to spend the whole hunt out in nature, he had to admit that after their spill in the river this afternoon, it would be wisest to head into the nearest town and get a proper room so everyone could be warm and dry for their journey the next day. 

He and Ging made their way to Doram, the town nearby, and were, not for the first time, extremely thankful they were Hunters. The hotel was the only one in the area so they could afford to charge astronomical rates. 

“Two hundred thousand Jenny a night!” Ging complained. “‘ _ You have to pay for at least three nights up front.’ _ Disgusting. They don't charge that much for 5-stars at those damn tourist trap hotels at the base of Kukuroo Mountain.”

“It will be better for the kids to have the chance to get dried off and warm and sleep inside tonight,” Kite said.  “You too, you know. And it’s not like we don’t have the money, we’re Hunters.”

“Yeah, which is why they made us pay for three nights!” Ging groused.  “I bet they take advantage of all the travelers around here.”

“Or maybe just us,” Kite suggested.  “I’d like to think they’re just trying to get what they can and since we have a lot to give, they’re asking for a lot.  In any case, we don’t have any other options so we should just accept it.”

“Yeah,” Ging acquiesced.  “Let’s go get the kids.”

***

Once everyone was at the hotel, they all took turns taking warm showers.  The suite they got had three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Ging and Kite took one room, Killua and Gon another, and Alluka in the final room. It was undeniably nice to be sleeping indoors in the warmth of central air and beds.

It was still dark when Gon rolled over and realized Killua was gone. It wasn't uncommon for him to have difficulty sleeping but he usually didn't stray far unless something really bad was keeping him from sleep. Gon decided to wait a few minutes to see if Killua was just in the bathroom. 

When Killua didn't return, Gon got up to find him. He sat up and surveyed his surroundings. The window was open and Gon suspected that was where Killua had left the room from. 

Gon crawled out of the window and climbed up to the roof where he found Killua just as he expected. He was sitting with his knees pulled up and his arms resting on them. His eyes were facing forward but Gon could tell he wasn't really looking at anything. 

“Killua? Are you okay?” Gon asked as he worked his way over to Killua's perch. “Did you have another nightmare? Are you thinking about your family?” 

Gon offered Killua his hand and he took it. Gon gently rubbed his thumb over Killua's. Despite being covered in scars, Killua's hands were so soft. Gon would have loved holding Killua's hands even if they hadn't been dating.

Killua tightened his grip on Gon's hand. “Gon, am I… turning into Illumi?”

“What? No!” Gon answered, shocked. “No, of course not! Hey, Killua…! Why would you say that?”

Killua squeezed his eyes shut and gripped Gon's hand with near crushing strength. “It's what Alluka said today…!” he confessed. “That I'm treating her and Nanika like our family did. That I'm not protecting them, I'm just hiding them. What if I'm not even doing that?”

Killua looked and sounded pained. 

“I hardly ever let them go out alone - hell! I hardly let them do  _ anything _ ! - I'm telling myself it's to keep them safe but what if I'm just trying to possess them like Illumi and my parents? Shit!”

Killua took his hand back and pressed the heels of his hands into his forehead. He didn't say anything for a while but Gon saw Killua push his hair back, fist it in his hands and tug on it, and run his hands over his face. His breathing was heavy and tight. Gon knew he was seeking some level of control over his emotions, trying to come down. 

Finally he sighed and, with his elbow planted on his knees, rested his head in his palms. “Fuck.” 

Gon felt an irresistible urge build up inside him. “Killua?” 

“Hah?” 

“Let me kiss you.” 

Killua looked over at Gon briefly and after returning his gaze forward, he nodded. 

He closed his eyes as Gon crawled in front of him. Gon slowly dragged a finger back and forth over Killua's bottom lip, pulling it down in the middle. He felt Gon lean forward and press their lips together, almost feather light, much softer than their kiss at the river. Gon's hand cupped the left side of his face, it's familiar, rough texture comforting. 

“I couldn't ever be this gentle to Illumi, Killua,” Gon said. “I actually still think about how I broke his arm after the Hunter's Exam and how I wish I had broken more of him. I wish I had  _ killed _ him.”

“So you're not Illumi! I love you so much, Killua! I want to be gentle with you like your family wasn't but should have been.” 

Killua nodded, reassured. “I was still a stupid asshole today,” he muttered as Gon sat back down beside him and held his hand again. 

“I agree with Alluka and Nanika that you're being kinda overprotective and this time it did really get us into a lot of trouble,” Gon said. “I know you just want to protect us, but Alluka and Nanika are  _ really _ strong and they're an expert with their chakrams.”

“Kite said something to me before we started out on this hunt and I've been thinking about it a lot,” he continued. “It's not your job to protect us, Killua. And you've already done a lot of it anyway! You trained Alluka and Nanika pretty much by yourself and you've helped me keep up the strength I have without my Nen!”

“Yeah, I guess,” Killua agreed. 

“You've given us the strength to take care of ourselves,” Gon insisted. “Since neither of us have Nen, you're stronger than us but we're strong enough to take on most things. You don't have to worry about us so much.”

Gon felt his breath catch as the urge to kiss Killua hit him like a train again. He brought their lips together and felt whole. More than whole, overflowing. He never wanted the kiss to stop. 

But Killua started tapping Gon's shoulder and Gon pulled back. 

“Hell, Gon! Not everyone can hold their breath for an hour like you!” Killua complained. 

“Nine minutes and forty-four seconds,” Gon corrected. 

“What the hell?” 

“It's my personal best,” Gon said. “The longest I've ever held my breath.”

Killua stared at Gon in disbelief for a moment before saying, “Shut up and kiss me again, you dumbass freak.” 

“It's  _ Freecss _ ,” Gon corrected Killua again with a mischievous grin. The sound of Killua's hand slapping the back of Gon's head quickly followed. “Ow!” 

“You earned that, don't complain,” Killua said. 

Before Gon could respond, Killua pulled him in and kissed him. 

When they parted, Gon was glowing. 

“I love you so much, Killua,” he said. “I'll always be here for you, so rely on me a little, okay?” 

Killua smiled softly and agreed, “Okay.” 

***

At breakfast the next morning, Killua cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.

“So, uh, Alluka was right,” he said, a faint blush on his cheeks as he shifted slightly in discomfort. “I owe everyone an apology.”

He took a deep breath.

“Ging, Kite, I’ve been keeping a secret from you as Alluka revealed yesterday,” he said.  “Inside Alluka is something else as well, called Nanika. Actually, we think Nanika might be an Ai.” He looked at Ging, knowing he would recognize the term.

Ging looked wary but didn’t say anything.

“Alluka? Can you ask Nanika to come out for a minute, please?” Killua asked.

“Okay but so you know, we’ve already talked,” Alluka said.

Killua wasn’t sure what she meant by saying she and Nanika had already talked. About what?

Alluka closed her eyes then and took in and released a calming breath. When she opened her eyes again, they were Nanika’s all black eyes.

“Killua!” Nanika said happily. Then her face grew concerned and she asked, “Okay?”

Killua smiled gently at Nanika.  “Yes, I’m okay.”

Nanika nodded. “Alluka...yesterday...mad. Say mean. Hurt Killua,” she ended with a frown.

“It’s okay, Nanika,” Killua reassured her.  “I know Alluka was upset but she didn’t really say anything wrong. I’m - ”

“Wrong!!” Nanika insisted emphatically.  “Alluka wrong! Killua...nice. Not like...home people. Not like S…Silva, Illumi, M…Mil…Milluki…. Not like!”

Tears pooled in Killua's eyes. “Thank you, Nanika,” he said. 

Nanika nodded. “Love Killua! Want Killua happy! Feel good!”

She stretched out her arms, asking Killua to hug her. Killua obliged and rubbed her back, much to her delight. She giggled slightly and wiggled with joy.

Killua ended the hug, rubbed his eyes, and held Nanika at arm’s length.  “Nanika, the reason I wanted you to come out was so I could introduce you to new people, people important to Gon and Alluka and me,” Killua explained.  “Okay? Do you mind introducing yourself?”

“Ai!” Nanika cheerily agreed.

Killua had Alluka turn around and he pointed at Kite. “Nanika, this is Kite. He's Gon's mom and he, Gon, and I have spent a lot of time traveling together.” 

“Kite!” Nanika said cheerily. Then, she paused and looked thoughtfully at her hands before thrusting one out toward Kite. “Shake!” 

Kite bent down to be closer to Nanika's level and shook her hand. “It's good to meet you, Nanika,” he said. 

She nodded. “Good meet!” 

Ging’s stiffened posture didn’t escape Killua’s notice but he turned Nanika and pointed to him and said, “This is Ging. He’s Gon’s dad.”

“Ging!” Nanika repeated. “Good meet!”

“Uh...yeah,” Ging said. “Nice to meet you.”

Although trepidation had been plain on Ging’s face for the conversation since Nanika came out, when she offered him a big, sweet smile, he couldn’t help but grin back.

“I guess you are pretty cute for something so dangerous,” he said with a grin. 

“Danger?” Nanika looked concerned and upset at being called dangerous. 

“Uhh,” Ging faltered. “Because you're strong?” 

Nanika made a face of recognition. “Strong!” she cheered. 

Nanika whirled around to face Killua again. “Killua! Alluka… back. Kiss!”

Killua leaned over to let Nanika kiss him on the cheek. “See you later, Nanika,” he said.

“Bye!” she said. 

She closed her eyes and a moment later Alluka reopened them. She sighed. 

“Sorry I said you were like our family,” she said. “It was too harsh. Nanika was really upset about it and said I owed you an apology.” 

“Thanks,” Killua said. “You were right that I was putting you in danger trying to keep Nanika a secret though. I'm sorry, too.”

“The secret is out now so we don't have to worry about it anymore,” Alluka said. “But thank you. I forgive you.” 

Killua and Alluka hugged. 

“I'm really sorry for treating you the way I did,” Killua said, just to Alluka. “I thought I'd know better after growing up with Illumi hanging around and trying to control me all the time but apparently I didn't.”

“I get it,” she answered. “It's how our family is. We just need to learn to do better.”

Killua nodded and squeezed Alluka a little tighter before letting her go. 

“I probably don't need to tell you, but Nanika's existence needs to stay a secret, need-to-know only,” Killua said, addressing Kite and Ging. 

“Of course,” Kite answered. 

Ging seemed less sure but he said, “It'd just cause trouble if it got out that we were walking around with an Ai-possessed human. I don't want that kind of attention. I'll keep my trap shut.” 

Killua nodded. “Thank you.” 

Alluka cleared her throat. “Since everyone here knows about Nanika now, Nanika and I are going to try to split our time with the body more evenly again,” she said. “We've been doing that traveling around with Killua and Gon and it will be nice to do it again, especially for Nanika.”

“Awesome! I love hanging out with Nanika!” Gon said. “I wish I could hang out with you both at the same time! We'd have so much fun!”

Alluka smiled. “We'd like that.” 

"We look forward to getting to know the two of you better," said Kite. "I didn't catch the right way to refer to Nanika though. Does Nanika use pronouns?" 

“Oh, right,” Alluka said. “I should clear up how to refer to Nanika and me. Yes, we use the same pronouns. Also, we're separate people but we both share one body that is the physical us. For example, the Nanika and I are Killua's sisters because our personalities and feelings are separate but we're  _ a _ skilled chakram user because we share the abilities of our body completely. We're also  _ a _ Zoldyck because we mutually inhabit this body that is genetically a Zoldyck. Does that make sense?”

Ging and Kite nodded. 

Alluka smiled. “Good! And I'm glad to not need to keep Nanika a secret anymore. I'm so excited for you to get to know her,” she said. “She's excited to be making new friends too.”

***

On their second night in Doram, the gang decided to go out to eat for dinner at the restaurant the receptionist recommended. They were seated quickly and their server was with them right away. He introduced himself as Todd and asked what they would like to drink.

“And what can I get you to drink, ma'am?” Todd asked upon getting to Kite. 

Kite indicated himself and corrected the server, “‘ _ Sir _ ’, please. And just water. Thank you.” 

He looked at Kite suspiciously but just said, “Uh, water, okay. I'll be back with your drinks shortly.” 

Ging's face displayed open disgust and irritation as their waiter walked away. “This asshole better watch himself,” he said. “I'm having none of his bullshit.” 

“It will be fine, Ging,” Kite insisted. 

Ging grumbled but settled in to look over the menu. 

Todd came back with their drinks and asked if everyone was ready to order. They were and he took down Gon, Killua, Alluka, and Ging's orders and started to walk away. 

“You forgot to take  _ my husband's _ order,” Ging said loudly. 

Todd turned back around with lips pursed into a fake smile and said, “Of course. What can I get you?” 

Kite gave his order and the server left.

Kite watched Gon fidget uncomfortably. Ging wasn't at all hiding his irritation and Killua had started to look testy about the server's behavior too. No real surprise there given his sister was trans as well. 

“Are you okay, Kite?” asked Alluka. “Our server is being pretty mean to you.” 

Kite nodded. “I'm fine. Thank you, Alluka,” he said. “This isn't the first time someone has treated me like this. It's wrong of them still but it doesn't hurt me like it used to.”

“I could shock him ‘til he pees his pants,” Killua suggested, making Ging choke on his soda. “Wouldn't be the first time. I won't cause any serious damage except to his reputation.”

Alluka made an ugh face at Killua before turning back to Kite and affirming, “He  _ has _ done it before. More than once…”

“Good man!” Ging praised. 

Killua blinked in surprise and then grinned. “I only do it when they deserve it,” he said. 

“Or when you miss…” Alluka grumbled.

“Are you still mad about that?” Killua asked. “Come on, I said I was sorry and I've been more careful since!” 

“It was embarrassing!” she argued. 

Gon laughed. “Killua, you really do like to argue!” 

“What's that supposed to mean?” Killua asked, looking every bit like he was getting ganged up on. 

“You're always in something like this with either Alluka or me but the two of us don't argue much with each other,” Gon pointed out. “You're the common link! Oh, mom, did I tell you about the time - ” 

Their waiter had returned with their food and placed everyone's order in front of them. When he got to Kite, he looked Kite in the face and said, “Here you go,  _ ma'am _ .”

“Hey, are you dense?” Ging demanded. 

“What?” the server asked. 

“He told you to call him ‘sir,’ we were all here and heard it. Unless that's  _ a problem _ ?” Ging ended his question with a threatening tone. 

“We've got rules here, sir,” the waiter said. “We call men sir and women ma'am. That's clearly a woman sitting next to you. Her kid here even called her, ‘mom.’ I'm just following procedure.”

Ging stood up to continue the argument. He was shorter than the server but no one watching the scene go down thought the server would have a single chance against him. Sparks of electricity jumped between Killua's thumb and forefinger but Kite gestured at him to calm down. 

“Well  _ he _ asked  _ you _ to call him  _ sir _ so you're either an asshole or you're dense, which one is it?” he asked with the same demanding tone as before. 

“Ging,” Kite said, putting his hand on Ging's arm and standing. “It's fine.” 

He turned to the server and said, “We'll be taking our order to go. Thank you.” 

***

On their way back to their hotel suite, as Ging fumed, Kite addressed the younger members of the party. 

“That turned into quite a scene,” he said. “Are the three of you all right?” 

“I'm great,” said Killua, omitting that he'd checked the schedule while Ging had been arguing with the server and the manager after getting their to-go boxes and now planned to pay Todd a visit at the end of his shift. “No sweat here. Our family's way scarier than that.”

“Yeah, we're fine now,” said Alluka when Kite looked to her. “Now that we've left that guy behind. It was pretty uncomfortable though.” 

“I’m fine,” Gon said, his dull and distracted tone giving away that that was most certainly not the case. He pressed on towards the hotel looking pensive and upset.

Upon returning to the suite, everyone ate their dinner at the table.

When they finished eating, everyone dispersed. Gon headed out to the balcony while Killua and Alluka went to their room and Ging and Kite to theirs. 

Kite was sitting on the floor in his and Ging's room when he heard footsteps too light for Ging’s come down the hallway and stop in front of their door.

“Kite?” came Gon's voice from the doorway. 

“Gon? What's wrong?” Kite asked, looking up at him.  _ ‘Kite?’ _

Gon was looking much farther away from Kite than normal and Kite could see there was tension built up all over his body. 

“I'm…” 

Gon's breathing got heavier and he started clenching his hand into a claw and releasing it repeatedly, trying to calm himself down. 

“It's okay, Gon, take your time,” Kite said, reassuringly. “Here, come sit with me.” 

Kite took Gon's hand and guided him to sit down in his lap, Gon's back to Kite’s chest so Gon didn't didn't feel the need to try to simulate eye contact. He also brought his tail around to be in Gon's reach. Gon had commented before about what an interesting sensory experience Kite’s tail was before and he seemed to like it. Gon held Kite’s tail and ran his fingers over it. 

“What are you worried about?” Kite asked. 

Gon was quiet and still for a moment. After taking a couple of breaths, he twisted his head back to lay the side of his head on Kite’s shoulder. 

“Is it… still okay for me to call you ‘mom?’” Gon asked, guilt and sadness coloring his tone. “I know… that's a girl thing and it… it makes people think you're a girl when I call you that.”

Kite felt Gon grip his tail a little tighter. “I'm sorry. I'll stop,” said Gon. “And I'm sorry about what happened at the restaurant. I know it's my fault. It wasn't on purpose.”

Kite gave a relaxed sigh and held Gon to him. 

“Gon, I didn't carry you in this body but I still carried you,” he said. “No one's misunderstanding about my gender is going to change that. And what happened at the restaurant wasn't your fault. It probably would have gone the same way even if you hadn't been there. If anything, your father probably would have fought them even sooner. Unfortunately because of how I look, people are going to see me as a woman quite often, it's not really avoidable.”

Gon, who had started to relax, tensed up again at Kite’s admission about his appearance. 

“But being your mother does not make me any less of a man so hearing you call me your mom doesn't either. I'm still your mother and I'm proud of that, Gon,” Kite said. “Do you understand?”

Gon nodded. 

“And thank you for caring enough and being brave enough to ask me about this,” said Kite. “I'm very proud to have such a kind son.” 

Kite hugged Gon again and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Gon laughed a little and hugged Kite’s arms in return. 

“Thanks, mom,” he said. 

Kite smiled.  _ That's better. _

***

Later that evening, Kite and Ging were in bed together. Ging was laying down but Kite was sitting up looking pensive, quiet in a different way than usual.

Ging was nervous to broach the topic. Emotional things weren't his strong suit. Reassuring Kite on physical insecurities he had plenty of practice at, had words and phrases he could rely on to help. But emotional social stuff? Even when the same issue came up more than once, nuance he'd miss would change the situation so that things that had helped the previous time were often much less useful or even completely ineffective. It was hugely nerve-wracking. 

But his husband was upset and it was important so he sat up. 

“Hey,” he said, pausing heavily before continuing. “What's wrong? You're tense and quiet like you've got something to say.” 

Kite sighed. “We have to be more careful, Ging.” 

“What?” 

“I know we're both still getting used to having our son back, but we have to be more careful,” Kite said. “We can't just act however we want like it's just the two of us. The things we say and do have an effect on him. He's growing and learning, especially learning from us now.” 

“Yeah, that's why I confronted that asshole,” Ging said. “Gon should know he can stand up for himself and others.” 

“He was scared, Ging. He thought it was his fault.” 

Ging felt the tension in the air rise. He saw Kite’s face screwed up in a negative emotion he struggled to identify. 

“Why didn't we try harder to get him back?” said Kite. 

“How? By kidnapping him? And making us both fugitives so he had to live his life on the run?” Ging said. “What kind of life would that have been?” 

Kite sighed forcefully. Irritation or maybe defeat. “She didn't let us see him and she told him all those horrible things about you. She told him I was  _ dead _ . And guilt issues like this don't just spring up from nowhere. What kind of situation did we leave him in? She was too young and just wanted him because she hated me but of course a court in a small town like Whale Island would rule against… well, someone like me.” 

“He didn't believe any of that crap she told him about us, remember?” Ging said in rebuttal. 

“So he says,” said Kite. “But if he did, would he actually tell us? Have we made him feel like he can?” 

“Absolutely,” Ging answered definitively. “He might still be realizing it but yes, we have.” 

“Suspecting he's lying wouldn't foster that though,” Kite said. He sighed again and continued, “You're right. We should just trust him.”

“Yeah, he's our son,” said Ging. “And we can't change the past, no matter how much we might want to. Who knows what, if anything, Mito did to him when he was younger? But we can't undo that, understand?”

Kite nodded but still looked upset. 

“All we can do is choose how we act now,” Ging said. “He'll come around. And if not, we can pawn him off on a professional.” 

Kite caught Ging's joke and forcefully exhaled through his nose in a laugh. “We really do need to be more careful, though. Especially about getting angry.”

“Yeah, you're probably right,” Ging said. “I'll… work on it.”

“Thank you,” Kite said, leaning to kiss Ging. “Let's get some rest. We should stock up on supplies tomorrow since we're heading out on Tuesday.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And also?” 

“Eh?” 

“That was still pretty hot of you to stand up for me like that,” Kite said, pecking another kiss on Ging. 

***

“Hey.” 

“Mmn?” 

“Hey, old man,” Killua whispered. “Wake up.” 

“I'm not that old, Cottontop,” Ging retorted, matching Killua's volume. 

“But you answered to ‘old man’ still,” Killua said, an impish grin on his face. “That's not the point though. I have an idea for something fun to do, wanna come with?” 

“Something fun to do, huh?” Ging repeated. “Like what?” 

“This and that,” Killua said. “You coming or not?” 

Something in Killua's tone and expression convinced Ging. 

“Yeah, alright, I'll meet you outside in a minute,” Ging said. 

“What? Come on, let's go. Are you naked or something?” Killua demanded impatiently. 

“I'm sleeping with my husband,” Ging responded with the same impatience. “Of course I'm naked, now get out.” 

***

“Hey, this is the restaurant we came to tonight,” Ging said. 

“Yep,” said Killua. “Wanna guess why we're here?” 

Ging didn't need to guess because just as Killua asked, the waiter who'd been treating Kite badly stepped outside. 

A mischievous grin settled on Killua's face. “Should we get him now or wait until he gets in the car?” he asked. 

Ging watched Todd head out into the parking lot. “Let's get him now.” 

Ging and Killua descended upon Todd like a pair of hunting wolves, trapping him. He froze and panicked at the sight of Killua's eyes, cold and shadowed. 

“Remember us?” 

“Don't worry,” Killua said in an unsettling tone. “I won't hurt you too badly. One question, one or both? I'll let you pick.” 

“One or both of what?” Todd asked, confusion and terror covering his face. 

“Too bad, I'll pick then. Both.” 

Todd whimpered in fear and retreated as Killua moved closer to him, sparks jumping between his fingers. 

“You'll want to move away from that car unless you want me to hurt you more than I'm already planning on,” Killua threatened. 

After a moment of weighing his options, Todd moved forward obediently and Killua flicked a spark of electricity into the man's abdomen. 

Todd cried out as the spark entered him. It hadn't hurt but it had been surprising. Killua grabbed him by his collar and planted his first two fingers firmly into Todd's lower abdomen. He sent two more jolts of electricity with a short gap between. 

“Do you feel that?” Killua asked. “Know what I'm hitting?”

“Hey, wait - ” he tried to plead. 

“What?” Killua asked immediately, sending another shock into him. “Are you going to piss your pants like a little kid already?” 

His eyes went wide as he realized what Killua was trying to do. 

“You should be glad I've spent so long with my sister and my boyfriend and his parents,” Killua continued. “I used to be a lot worse than this. I'm a Zoldyck, after all.”

Todd's face went white as a sheet. 

“That's right,” Killua said. “So just so we're clear, if you try to run away or call for help, I'll pull out your digestive system and disassemble it in front of you. Understand the rules?”

Todd nodded. 

“Good.” 

Killua pushed his fingers in deeper, eliciting a groan of discomfort quickly followed by a poorly suppressed yelp at the next jolt of electricity he pushed into Todd's stomach, guiding it around more sensitive, major organs and heading for the bladder and down into the urethra. 

“No, wait, please, I'm sorry, agh!”

Killua was rewarded for this most recent shock with the man gripping his crotch. 

“Too late” Killua said, his voice dark and mocking. He looked over his shoulder at Ging. “Ready, partner?” 

Ging nodded. “Looks like  _ he _ is.” 

“Alright,” Killua said. “ _ This _ is for scaring my sister.” 

A squeal from Todd. 

“ _ These _ are for making my  _ boyfriend _ feel guilty for  _ your _ .  _ Shitty _ .  _ Behavior _ .” 

Todd grabbed desperately at Killua's arm to try to move his hand away as he whimpered both out of dread realizing that this Zoldyck was going to make him piss himself right here while he watched and fear that he might not stop there. The first was an inevitability that grew closer with each shock. 

“And  _ this _ is for treating my teacher badly!”

Killua laid his palm across Todd's lower belly and pushed in. 

“No, no, don't! Don't! Do- ”

Killua sent a stronger current this time, cutting off the waiter's pleading and quickly leading to his pants darkening from the crotch. He kept the current going for several seconds as Todd emptied his bladder into his pants. 

“Oh, god, oh, god, stop! Please stop! I'm gonna - !”

“What did you think ‘both’ meant?” Killua asked coldly. “Did you really think I'd let scum like you off with just pissing your pants in private?”

“It's not that hard,” Ging inserted. "You should be smart enough to know what's next. Like the kid said, this is on account of  _ your shitty behavior _ ." 

“No! Please! I'm sorry! I won't do it again!” Todd begged, tears streaming down his face in terror and humiliation. 

In response, Killua turned up the voltage. He held Todd up by his collar when his legs gave out. Not long later, Todd groaned, shuddered, and finally whimpered in defeat. Killua dropped him on the ground in the puddle that had formed under him. 

“Remember this, asshole,” Killua said. “And don't let me see or hear of you treating people like you did my teacher ever again. Understand?” 

Todd, still prone and whimpering, nodded. 

“Good. Let's go, old man.”

“I'm not that old!” 

"And  _ I'm _ not a kid! I'm seventeen!"


	3. Varica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party gets to Varica, the Not Africa!Africa continent in the hxh world, and meet up with Wing and Zushi and Ging and Nanika get some bonding time.

Other than some suspicious rumors about a white haired Zoldyck and his scruffy sidekick terrorizing a waiter in a remote town, the rest of the gang's short time on Oska was fairly uneventful. When Kite questioned them about it, Killua and Ging determinedly denied any knowledge of the events alleged in the rumors floating around, even though there was no question the rumors were about them and that they were, thus, lying. But no one seemed to care quite enough to press the issue beyond a tired, “Don't do it again,” from Kite. 

They made good time to the coast and took a ferry to Jappon to get an airship ride to Varica. Gon commented that this was where Hanzo had said he lived. 

“Kurapika said he didn't make it back from the trip to the Dark Continent,” he said soberly after giving a rundown of their meeting during the Hunter's Exam. “It's too bad. He was a cool guy.” 

Stifling a shocked laugh, Killua cast a look at Ging and Kite, wondering how they were reacting to the…  _ very _ detailed retelling of his fight against Hanzo that Gon had just given so nonchalantly. Did Gon have no idea that shit was messed up? Even Killua knew it, despite having had much worse things done to him by his own family. 

Ging leaned in close to Kite and muttered under his breath, “I know I should feel bad but right now I just regret that he died and now I can't kill him.” 

“I feel the same,” Kite answered. 

“Oh!” Gon said suddenly. “We're going to pass by Heaven's Arena! We should see Wing and Zushi!” 

“Yeah!” Killua agreed. “Haven't seen them in forever!”

“New??” Nanika chimed in with exuberance. “New…friend?”

Killua's excitement decreased greatly at that and Nanika's started to fall in response. 

Tears started to pool in her eyes as she asked, “No?” 

“Nanika, it's…” Killua trailed off, wincing at the sight of Nanika's sad expression. 

Nanika nodded her head. “Danger. Understand. H-hi…de…” she trembled, trying to keep herself together “No n-new. Ai…”

She closed her eyes and then the one rubbing the remaining tears from their eyes was Alluka. She didn't say anything. She crossed her arms and looked at Killua expectantly. 

“I haven't been such a great brother to Nanika lately, have I?” Killua said. “Okay, let's talk about it.” 

Gon and Alluka said as one, 

“We  _ know _ Wing-san and Zushi!”

“You  _ know  _ Wing and Zushi!”

“We can tell Wing-san for sure and Zushi would keep our secret too, don't you think?” Gon asked. “Wing-san is very disciplined and Zushi is his student! I know you said just people we trust but Wing-san is one of those people!”

Killua frowned. It was true. He did trust Wing-san and Zushi, quite a great deal, but did he trust them with his sister's life and well-being? 

***

“Wing-san! Zushi!” Gon said excitedly. “It's great to see you guys again!” 

“Osu!” replied Zushi. “Good to see you!” 

“Hello, Gon-kun! It's good to see you too,” Wing answered with a pleasant smile. “And Killua-kun too! You boys have grown quite a bit! And I've heard of your exploits. I won't say I condone all of them but very impressive nonetheless!”

Gon and Killua both briefly basked in Wing's praise. 

“Hey, Wing-san,” Gon started a little hesitantly. “Would you maybe consider changing your mind about re-opening my pores so I can use Nen again?” 

“Absolutely not, Gon-kun!” Wing scolded. “I made that choice at the time because I thought it would be the safest decision given the situation. It was worth the risk to do it myself rather than risk you getting it from opponents at Heaven's Arena. That is no longer an imminent danger. You can either go the long way or you can find someone else to open your pores.”

Gon hung his head like a scolded child. “Osu…” 

“While you're here, why don't you train with Zushi?” Wing suggested more kindly. “I'm sure they would enjoy training with a friend.” 

Excitement set Zushi's expression ablaze. “Yes! I remember your performance even before Nen to have been most impressive!” they said. “I would very much enjoy the chance to train with you again!” 

“So who are these people with you two?” Wing asked. 

“This is my sister, Alluka,” said Killua. 

Alluka, Wing, and Zushi introduced themselves to each other. In the pause that followed Gon and Alluka both looked at Killua meaningfully. 

“Come on, brother! You  _ said _ !” Alluka pressed. “You said you trust them!” 

“Come on, Killua,” Gon joined in. “It's Wing-san and Zushi!” 

Zushi, uncertain how to react, looked to Wing. They saw him calmly waiting for the three in front of them to decide and took up a similar stance and demeanor to their master. 

“Okay,  _ fine _ !” Killua finally exclaimed, exasperated. “I know! I said we could tell them…”

He took a deep breath and said, “I have someone else to introduce you to. Alluka?” 

Alluka nodded, knowing what Killua wanted, closed her eyes and relaxed. 

Nanika reopened their eyes looking cautiously at Killua. 

“New…friend…?” she asked. 

Killua nodded. “Yeah, Nanika, meet Wing-san and Zushi,” he said with a smile masking the guilt he felt. 

Nanika hesitated but slowly a smile spread across her face. “Good meet!!” she blurted with enthusiasm. 

“Wing-san, Zushi, this is Nanika. She shares Alluka's body with her,” he said. 

Zushi was immediately inquisitive. They got very close to Nanika as if her situation would be easier to understand if they got closer. “How does that work? How do you decide whose turn it is? Do you like the same foods? Can you both see and hear what the other one does all the time or do you have to try? Do you each have the same physical abilities?”

Nanika beamed excitedly. It was delightful to have someone take such an interest in her. 

“Zushi,” Wing said, smiling and putting his hand on Zushi's shoulder. “You have to let her talk if you want her to answer your questions. Plus, I think she may have a harder time speaking than you, though I can't speak on her comprehension.”

Nanika nodded. “Like question! Umm…hard, slow…uh…answer. Speak hard.”

“Ohhh,” Zushi said, straightening up but still looking at Nanika with intense curiosity.

“Take your time, Nanika-chan,” Wing said gently. “Zushi is a very patient person. They are very disciplined and practiced in patience.”

Killua chuckled. “So that's changed, huh?” he teased. 

Zushi turned a bit red in the face. 

“They've grown quite a lot, just as you have, Killua-kun,” Wing said, making Zushi regain their usual coloring and smile a little. “And I believe we still have two more people to meet?”

“These are my parents, Ging and Kite!” Gon said. 

“Did you say Ging?” Wing asked. “As in Ging Freecss, the renowned Archeology Hunter?” 

Ging raised his hand in a wave. “Yeah, that's me,” Ging said, sounding grumpy. He wasn't sure he enjoyed the attention. 

“And this is your mother? Kite?” Wing continued. 

“Yep! He's the one Killua and I met after beating Greed Island!” Gon said. 

“Ah, yes, I remember hearing about that from Biscuit,” Wing mused. Then he blinked and said, “My apologies, you said, ‘he’ just now, didn't you, Gon? So this is your other father then?” 

Gon shook his head. “Nope, he's my mom,” he said. “But he's a man.”

“Oh, I see,” said Wing. He turned to Kite. “It may impolite to ask but I got the impression you were…?”

“A cis man? Dead?” Kite offered. “Well I've never been cis but I was killed, yes. I was reborn into a new body, this one.”

“Yeah, death didn't really take with him!” Ging joked. 

Gon fidgeted and shifted his weight uncomfortably.

“Well, it's good to meet you,” Wing said with an appreciative chuckle for Ging's comment. “You're welcome to stay with us while you're here if you'd like.” 

Killua and Nanika looked at Kite, pleading looks on their faces. Kite chuckled softly. Of course the Zoldyck children would be begging for a break from roughing it. He could tell that Ging wanted to take Wing up on his offer too, even if he was trying not to be obvious about it. 

“I suppose I don't see any good reason not to,” Kite said. 

Everyone seemed to like that decision and happily took Wing's invitation to follow him to their residence. 

***

Not again.

Not again.

Why was he here again?

Gon stood in a clearing in the NGL. He was 14 again, Kite was in front of him and, although he couldn’t see him, he knew Killua was next to him.

Why this nightmare again?

He crumpled to the ground and sobbed uncontrollably, knowing how this would end, how it always ended.

Both Kite and Killua stopped and turned to look at him.

“Gon, what’s wrong?” Killua asked. “Hey…!”

He heard Kite take in a breath as he noticed Pitou’s Nen as he always did.

“Get away from me!” he ordered.

“Nooo!” Gon wailed, knowing nothing would change regardless of his protests.

Pitou’s claws tore Kite’s clothes and flesh, releasing the metallic scent of blood into the air.

“Nooo!!!!” Gon heard himself screaming this time.

“Gon! Wake up!”

Gon suddenly woke to a sharp, prickly stinging in his cheek.

“Gon!” It was Killua’s voice.

Now conscious but with the dream crystal clear in the forefront of his memory, Gon began to cry again.

“Hey, Gon, listen to me,” Killua coached, taking Gon’s hand.  “Can you hear me, Gon? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

Gon squeezed Killua’s hand.

“Okay, you can hear me, good. Was it the same dream again? Squeeze my hand if it was.”

Gon squeezed Killua’s hand again.

“Okay, got it.”

Killua wrapped Gon up in his blanket.

“Listen to me, Gon,” Killua resumed coaching. “I’m going to leave for a moment but I’m going to be right back, okay? I’m coming back. It’s going to be okay.”

Gon was beside himself as he rocked back and forth.  He only ever rocked when he was at his most upset, when he was barely coherent. He could hear noises nearby, at least one voice and other various sounds. None of it was meaningful. Flashes of the nightmare jumped to Gon’s mind again and he had to fight to contain a scream. The blanket helped to muffle the sound that still escaped. He squeezed his eyes shut as though it would make the images in his mind stop.

“Gon, I’m back.”

It took Gon a moment to recognize that the voice was Killua’s.

“I brought Kite,” Killua said. “He’s here.”

Kite climbed onto the bed with Gon and pulled him against his chest.

“It’s okay, Gon, I’m here,” Kite soothed.

Gon leaned into him.  “I’m sorry, mom, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Gon,” Kite assured him rocking him gently and stroking his hair.

“I didn’t do anything,” Gon rebutted. “I didn’t even try!”

“That’s not what I remember,” Kite said.  “I remember you trying to help even after I tried to get you to run away and Killua had to stop you.”

“I panicked and hit you too hard,” Killua admitted.  “You might not remember it.”

Gon didn’t have anything to say to respond to that so he and Kite just sat on the bed rocking for a short while as Gon calmed down.

When Gon had mostly stopped crying, he looked up and over at the doorway to see going, Alluka, Zushi, and Wing standing there watching with concerned looks on their faces. 

“I worked everyone up for nothing,” he grumbled, feeling his face heat up. 

“A nightmare like that isn't nothing,” Zushi insisted. 

“We'll leave if we're making you uncomfortable, Gon-kun,” Wing said. “Now that we know you're okay.” 

When everyone but Killua had left, Kite held Gon tighter and quietly said, “I’m the one who should be sorry, Gon.”

Gon looked up at Kite plainly baffled. “Huh?”

“I brought you along because I misjudged how risky it would be,” Kite confessed.  “I should never have brought you and Killua into the NGL. I wouldn’t have if I had known things would get as dangerous as they did. I’m so sorry, Gon. I promise to do my best not to put you in that kind of situation again.”

Gon was silent for a while. Kite tried not to work himself up wondering what was going through Gon's mind. 

“Mito-san never apologizes unless she's pressured into it,” Gon said finally. “Usually by Abe.” 

A snide, biting comment sprang to Kite's mind but he resisted it. He and Ging wanted to avoid poisoning Gon against Mito. They reasoned their feud and negative feelings towards each other shouldn't go through Gon. 

“Is that so?” Kite decided to ask instead. 

Gon nodded. “I think it's hard for her to admit when she's wrong. She really commits to things so if she can blame someone or something else when things go wrong, she usually will.” 

“Did she blame you for things that weren't your fault?” Kite asked, concentrating on keeping his tone neutral. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Gon answered, sounding like he didn't want to answer the question. 

“We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Gon,” Kite said. “I won't force you.” 

Gon shook his head. 

“Okay,” Kite said. “Do you want to stay like this still or are you ready for me to let you go?” 

“Just a little longer,” Gon said. “Can we lay down?” 

“Yes, of course,” Kite said. 

They laid down in the bed, Kite pulling Gon's back against his chest. After not too long Kite realized Gon had drifted back off to sleep. 

And not too long after that, Killua realized Kite had fallen asleep too. He pursed his lips in annoyance but went off to share Alluka's bed with her. He may have gotten kicked out of his own bed but he sure as hell was not about to sleep on the couch. 

***

Over the next couple of days, everyone got to know each other better, especially Zushi and Alluka and Nanika. Zushi found Alluka and Nanika massively interesting and spent much of the time he wasn't training with Wing or sparring with Gon and/or Killua talking to them. 

One day, Gon, Killua, and Zushi were off training with Wing and Kite had traveled out of the city to mediate for a few hours leaving Ging with Alluka and Nanika. 

“Ging!” 

“Hey, Alluka, what's - ” Ging turned to look at the girl approaching. “Oh, Nanika, how's it?” 

“Good! How Ging?” 

Ging grinned in spite of himself. “Yeah, I'm good, kid.” 

Nanika sat down near Ging. She hummed and smiled and kicked her legs back and forth. “Ging Gon… Dad?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I'm Gon's dad,” Ging answered. 

“Happy?” Nanika asked. 

“Am I happy to be Gon's dad or am I happy in general?” he asked. 

“Dad! Happy?” she said. 

“Heh, yeah, I'm proud of the kid,” Ging said with a grin. “He's strong and a good kid. He's got a good heart.” 

Nanika stared at Ging for a few seconds, trying to make sense of what he said. Eventually she asked, “Proud? Good…heart?” 

Ging thought about his answer. “Proud of him is like he does good things and I'm happy about it because, like, I helped make the guy, you know?” 

Nanika nodded studiously. Ging was pretty certain she was lost but he continued anyway. 

“And when I say he's got a good heart, I mean… he's kind. He does and says good things. He helps people because he wants to. Because he's driven to it.”

Nanika's face lit up with a big smile. “Killua good heart!” 

Ging wanted to laugh at that but seeing how delighted and earnest Nanika was, he couldn't bring himself to. He patted Nanika's head and she giggled with joy. 

He looked away from her and absently scratched his chin, his stubble making a scritching sound under his nails. 

Nanika's eyes went wide and her mouth opened in an o shape. “Touch? Touch?” she asked emphatically with her hand near his face. 

“Huh? You want to touch it? Haven't you ever seen a guy with stubble before?” Ging asked. When Nanika shook her head, he said, “Not even your brother?” 

Nanika shook her head. “Killua… have… mmm no!” she eventually got out her meaning. 

“Huh,” Ging said. “Well, yeah, you can touch it. Don't think you're gonna like it though. It's rough.” 

Nanika brought both hands up to Ging's face and explored the short, coarse hairs on his chin with her fingertips. She was excited but gentle. Her attention trailed up and she moved her hands up to touch his hair. 

“Like Gon!” she said. 

Ging chuckled. “Yeah, I'm his dad, of course our hair is similar.” 

Nanika tilted her head. “Killua and Silva hair like?” 

Ging thought for a moment. He was pretty sure he'd seen a picture of Silva Zoldyck before but hell if he could remember it.

“I mean, probably, yeah,” he said. “I haven't touched a Zoldyck’s hair other than yours though so I dunno.”

Nanika smiled and then laid her head down in Ging's lap. He stiffened briefly before putting his hand on her head and petting her hair again. 

“Ging?” Nanika's tone changed suddenly to less cheerful. 

“Eh?” 

Nanika paused heavily. “Scared? …Scar…y? Scary?” 

Ging frowned. “Yeah, I think you're sorta scary,” he admitted. 

Nanika made a sad noise of acknowledgement. 

“You're… dangerous. And powerful,” he said. “Anyone would be scared of you.”

Nanika curled up a little tighter. 

“But you seem like a good girl,” he said. 

Nanika turned up look up at Ging with a curious noise. “Good girl?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “I mean, Gon and Killua obviously like you so you can't be that bad, right?”

Nanika looked up at Ging initially with confusion, unsure of what he was suggesting but when she saw his smile, she cheered up and said, “Good girl! Gon and Killua like!” 

Ging grinned a little bigger and chuckled. “Yeah.” 

“Pat! Head!” 

Ging obliged her and patted her head. 

_ This thing is too cute, _ Ging thought. 

***

“Do you really have to go already?” Zushi asked, clearly disappointed. 

“Kite’s on a hunt to study this new beast on Magasku Island,” Ging said. “We gotta get back to it.” 

“We'll stop by on our way back through,” Kite promised. “We've very much enjoyed your company and hospitality.”

“Your company has been wonderful as well,” said Wing. “As was the chance to see my two prodigy students again. Please do come again, you're always welcome.” 

When everyone had said their goodbyes, Wing addressed Gon. 

“Gon-kun, don't rush your progress,” he said. “Allow your Nen to come back to you naturally. I believe there is a reason it is taking you longer than we might expect for you to regain it. Don't risk your health by trying to force it.”

“Osu!” Gon answered, seeming encouraged. 

Kite ruffled Gon's hair affectionately. “We have a boat to catch, everyone. Let's go.” 


	4. Magasku Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dramatic finish to our tale! A new beast! Poachers! Gon and Alluka putting their heads together to make bad decisions! We've got it all!
> 
> It turns out the real discovery was the family we discovered along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, this is the last chapter! This is the one where there's some graphic violence against animals. There are two instances
> 
> The first one is when Gon, Alluka, and Nanika first meet the koshu. The koshu has a gunshot wound from the poachers. This one isn't too graphic but it's still yikes. 
> 
> Comes after the second altercation with the poachers. One of the koshu's young ends up having been stepped on. 
> 
> Both moments end with things being fixed though, I promise! 
> 
> Also I remembered I wrote an epilogue too so I'll upload that shortly too. Thanks for sticking around! Hope you enjoyed and that you will enjoy this last chapter! (and the epilogue after lol)

Everyone woke up feeling excited to plan their approach to studying this beast and, if possible, capturing it.

They had already been on the island for a few days and talked to residents to gather information on the beast, which area locals called a koshu. It sounded like it typically wasn't aggressive but was nervous and had attacked people before.

“The reports we have from previous hunters who have attempted to study the koshu are a bit confusing and contradictory but one thing that has remained fairly consistent is that it seems to be highly sensitive to Nen,” Kite explained. “We also know that some beasts can detect Nen users, as the chimera ants started targeting Nen users to feed to their queen, resulting in generations of ants that were capable of using Nen themselves. It's not clear if they would be able to detect Nen users still if the user is using Zetsu. Colt seemed uncertain and it may be different for the koshu regardless.”

“It's logical to assume that beasts primarily recognize Nen users by their elevated concentration of Nen,” he continued. “So determining if _this_ beast is still able to detect us when we're using Zetsu is important since, to our knowledge, that shouldn't be possible.”

“Beast Hunters are usually skilled in Zetsu so it's possible others have already tried and simply didn't report it. We need to be careful,” he finished.

“So if it is sensitive to us even using Zetsu, what do we do then?” asked Killua.

Kite hesitated to speak right away but, after a short pause, he said, “We may need Gon, Alluka, and Nanika to be the ones to approach it.”

“Oh hell no!” Killua balked. “We don't even know how dangerous this thing is yet and we're considering sending Gon and my sister after it?”

“Brother!” Alluka interjected. “Again? Even after all this? Even though you've trained me _yourself_ for two years?”

“Just because you know how to fight, it doesn't mean you should be doing dangerous stuff! And what about the poachers?”

The two of them were soon heatedly arguing.

“Just fight me yourself then, Brother!” Alluka challenged. “I'll show you I can take care of myself directly!”

“No! I'm not gonna do that! I could hurt you or _kill_ you!” Killua yelled back.

“Okay, that's enough,” Kite said, trying to bring the situation under control.

When Alluka brought a chakram to each hand, Ging and Kite stepped in, grabbing by the waist Alluka and Killua respectively.

“Alright, none of that,” Ging said, moving Alluka away from Killua.

“The only reason I'm at such a disadvantage is because you won't let me study Nen!” Alluka yelled.

“Who knows how that would even work with Nanika?” Killua argued. “What if you lose control of her or hurt her learning Nen?”

Furious, Alluka threw her chakram into the dirt between them and answered, “Well we'll never know because you're too scared to let me try!”

She wheeled around on Ging. “You taught Kite Nen, right?” she demanded. “You'd let me try, right? You'd teach me?”

“Uhh, now hold on,” Ging fumbled.

“Are you kidding?” Killua asked incredulously. He turned to Kite. “Kite will you tell her this is stupid and she's being unreasonable and more stubborn and thick skulled than Gon?”

“That's _enough_ ,” Kite said again, calmly but with a regal force that quieted everyone. “We all need to calm down. This is not a discussion to have while we're upset.”

No one argued, with each other or with Kite, so he said, “Everyone take a deep breath.”

“Now, everyone will get a chance to speak,” he said. “Killua, you jumped in first so you can go first.”

“Why does he get to - ” Alluka tried to jump in.

“ _It is not your turn to speak_.”

Ging's shiver as Kite used his royal voice again was not at all subtle and Alluka gave him a quizzical look.

“Killua,” Kite said. “Tell us why you're opposed to Alluka, Nanika, and Gon going to meet the koshu.”

“It's dangerous!” Killua said. “And if Alluka wasn't being so _stupid_ \- ” Killua hesitated as Kite gave him a stern look. He reconsidered his sentence and said, “They'd all be in danger if we let the three of them go. They might get hurt or die. They aren't powerful and durable like Nen users.”

“Alluka, it's your turn,” Kite said. “Why do you object to Killua thinking you shouldn't go?”

“We're strong! We should be able to go!” she said. “Brother has trained Nanika and me for two years and Gon is strong too! He's just being stubborn and fearful again, like at the river!”

“Gon, you were brought up as well. Do you have anything to say?” Kite asked.

Gon shook his head. “I am stubborn and I don't listen to people once I've made up my mind. Killua was right.”

“Alright,” said Kite. “You have all been heard. I understand your concerns and appreciate you all speaking up.”

He looked down to address Killua specifically. “Killua, I acknowledge Gon, Alluka, and Nanika are all lacking in Nen defenses, making them more vulnerable. I am going to approach the koshu myself first, that has not changed. However, the risk seems outweighed by the reward. No one from the town was killed by the koshu and Gon, Alluka, and Nanika are all more powerful than them.”

“I know you're scared something bad will happen but trust in your sisters and your boyfriend,” Kite said. “Believe in them. You've helped them to be strong. If you can protect them, they can protect themselves. They've learned from you and your expertise.”

Killua still looked a bit resistant.

“If you, the person who trained them, can't believe in them, who can?” Kite asked. “You know their abilities best right after them. You have every reason to know they're competent and powerful.”

After a pause, Gon piped up and said, “Why don't we go and train, Killua? You and Alluka and Nanika and me! It'll be fun!”

“And it may remind you what you've taught them,” Kite added. “It may make you feel better.”

Killua didn't think it was likely that anything could make him feel better about the possibility of sending the three people most important to him into harm's way without being able to intervene but he acquiesced.

“Alright, let's head back to that area with the rocks, then,” he said.

After the kids had left, Ging leaned in towards Kite and said, “Hey, do that thing you did with your voice before.”

“What thing?”

“That commanding thing,” Ging attempted to elaborate. He tried to imitate the voice Kite used, “‘ _It is not your turn to speak_.’”

“Oh, _you request such a thing from me_?” Kite said.

Ging shivered again. “Didn't know you could do that,” he said.

“Neither did I,” said Kite. “I suppose it makes sense though. I _am_ of Chimera Ant royalty after all. I'm Meruem's twin brother.”

Ging nodded absently.

Kite walked up to Ging. He already towered over him but when he summoned up his inner ant king, Ging seemed to get even smaller.

“ _Sit down_.”

Ging obeyed, enraptured.

Kite gave Ging a mischievous grin. “This _could_ be fun.”

***

Kite had been wandering around the area the koshu had last been seen for almost two hours when he heard what sounded like a large animal shuffling through the bushes.

He crouched down, activated Zetsu, and continued more cautiously towards the noise. Though not as helpful as it might have been on a full possum, Kite’s tail helped him to an extent to balance so he was able to quickly and easily scale a tree that would provide him a view of the koshu as it moved into a clearing.

It walked on four legs, had a rounded beak, and was covered in dark colored, slightly iridescent, and strangely textured fur. Its beak seemed to be a bit oddly shaped, having more thickness than Kite would have expected and it looked like the nares were positioned towards the front of the beak. Was it used to allow the koshu explore its environment more easily via smell? Kite leaned out farther on the branch on which he was perched to get a better view, thinking it could bear his weight but it cracked and gave underneath him, dropping him into the clearing several feet from the creature.

The koshu crouched low, nervous. From his new, closer vantage point, Kite could now see that the koshu was, in fact, covered in tiny, fur-like feathers, giving the “fur” it's strange texture. The feathers that covered its body were raised partially as it intently watched Kite as he lay in front of it. It appeared to be trying to make sense out of Kite, sniffing around and pacing back and forth. It seemed to sense that at least part of Kite was a beast, causing its confusion on his appearance and scent and, possibly, his Nen. The koshu finally backed away from Kite a bit, feeling uncertain about him.

Given that he could no longer observe the beast without it noticing him, Kite figured he should at least get something out of the situation and formulated a test.

He knew that the koshu seemed to cause a forced Zetsu around it but was that conscious or not? It seemed that approaching the koshu while using Zetsu probably wasn't going to work anyway so Kite prepared to release his Zetsu slowly. If no aura came out, it was safe to assume the forced Zetsu was an unconscious constant.

But the moment he let a single tendril of aura out, the koshu roared and jumped back from Kite. He felt the forced Zetsu go into effect. The koshu opened its beak-like maw and roared at him again before turning tail and disappearing into the brush. Even as it disappeared, Kite noted that the forced Zetsu seemed to remain in effect.

Kite got up and brushed himself off. “Lamellae, huh?” he said thoughtfully, referring to the large, tooth-like ridges in the koshu's beak. They had been the proportionately largest he'd ever seen on a beast, a good deal sharper than he expected too, and had been what had made its break look so thick. And his conclusion about its nares seemed to be correct. “Looks like it's Gon, Alluka, and Nanika's turn now….”

Kite wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not.

***

“Oh! Knuckle's ability works like that!” Gon said when Kite explained his encounter over dinner that night. “If you lose and go bust, his Nen beast basically keeps you in a forced Zetsu for a whole month!”

“Let's hope this doesn't last as long as that,” Kite said.

“Did it touch you anywhere?” Killua asked, looking Kite over.

Kite shook his head. “No, it didn't even get very close to me and when I started to release my Zetsu, it jumped back, roared at me, and ran off,” he said. “And it seemed like it could still sense that I was a Nen user, it was just distracted by the fact that I was a beast too.”

Killua paced around Kite, looking for any trace of a Nen beast. He ultimately gave up and returned to Gon who took his hand.

“I don't see anything,” he said. “But I _can_ sense another aura on you. It probably throws its aura at you and blocks your Nen from coming out. It's pretty smart…” Gon pulled Killua down to nuzzle and kiss him. Killua blushed at the sudden affection but gave in and returned a couple of Gon's kisses.

Kite nodded appreciatively, pretending to ignore the two of them.

“I guess this means it's our turn,” Alluka said.

Killua froze and grit his teeth. They had agreed. If the koshu was that sensitive to Nen users, the only option was for non-Nen users to go in and study it or capture it.

And that meant Alluka, Nanika, and Gon.

Gon noticed Killua's nervous tension. “It'll be fine, Killua!” he insisted. “And Nanika let me follow the same rules for wishes as you so if things get really bad, I promise I'll get us out of there, okay?” He pressed several quick kisses to various places on Killua's hand and face to reassure him. Without turning away from the conversation, Killua distractedly returned Gon's affections by kissing him on the cheek and rubbing his thumb over Gon's knuckles.

“Do you have any other suggestions?” Kite asked Killua.

“ _Leave and go home_ ,” he muttered under his breath.

“Sorry?” Kite said, pretending he hadn't heard.

“No,” Killua grumbled.

Alluka looked like she wanted to say something but thought better of it.

“Then let's all get some rest for tomorrow,” Kite said. “We have planning to do.”

***

“On purpose?” Ging asked as they re-entered their tent. Kite knew he meant releasing his Zetsu to catch the attention of the koshu.

Kite sat down next to him and nodded. “I wanted to learn how the forced Zetsu worked. It's interesting.”

Kite was silent for a moment. “I'm disappointed though,” he confessed. “This was supposed to be _my_ hunt.”

“Before the incident with the Chimera Ants, I was one of the foremost hunters in my field. Now I'm practically back to an unknown,” he continued. “Which is really only discouraging because it means more challenging hunts get offered to others long before me. And now that I've finally gotten one again, I'm not even the one able to complete it.”

“Maybe I'm not the hunter I once thought I was. Maybe I never was.”

“Hey, don't start with that bullshit,” Ging said seriously. “You were and are a great hunter. Even great hunters are going to fail at things. Shit happens, extenuating circumstances, mistakes, hell, bad days happen and ruin things.”

“Assuming we count this hunt and the incident with the Chimera Ants failures, how many failed hunts would that bring you to?” Ging asked.

Kite thought about it. “Four.”

“Out of how many?”

“I… don't remember. I've lost count.”

“So…?”

“So?”

“What part of that keeps you from being a hunter? From being a great hunter?” Ging asked, challenging Kite's self-deprecating sentiment. “No hunter's gonna be perfect, you can't expect that of yourself.”

Kite seemed unconvinced.

“Would you expect me to always find the artifacts or sites I go after on my hunts?” Ging asked. “What about Gon? Would you expect him to succeed at everything on the first try?”

Kite sighed. “No, of course not. That wouldn't be fair,” he conceded.

“And it's no more fair to you to hold yourself to that standard,” Ging said. “With the Chimera Ants you had to protect the kids and here you can't ‘un-become’ a Nen user. I mean, I know our kid did but that's a special situation.”

Kite sighed and rested his head on Ging's.

“I know,” he said.

“I didn't say you couldn't be pissed off about it or disappointed or whatever,” Ging asserted. “Just that you can't look down on yourself for it, especially if you wouldn't do that with me or our kid or, I dunno…” Ging waved his hand dismissively as he stumbled in his speech “someone you care about is the point.”

Kite wished more people got to see this side of Ging. The side of him that deeply cared about the people he cared about. The side of him that wouldn't let anyone talk down about themselves, especially when they hadn't done anything wrong.

He was honest and direct to the point of blunt, but he was also kind and supportive, you just only got to see it if you were close. It was what made Kite fall in love with Ging.

Well, that and the fact that he was a solid nine. The chiseled jaw and beautiful eyes and his -

“You still awake up there?” Ging asked.

Kite jolted upright. “Uh, yes, yeah, sorry.”

“Nah, no need,” Ging said, shaking his head. “Anyway, you get it?”

“Yes, Ging, I get it,” Kite said, a relaxed smile settling on his face. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” he said. “Can't have you talking crap about yourself, ya know? That's my job.”

Kite laughed and Ging joined in.

 _You're a good man, Ging,_ Kite mused. _Even if no one ever gets to see it._

***

Gon led the way into the brush. He could track the koshu both by scent and by tracks though the scent trail proved to be easier to follow.

“Gon!” Nanika said happily.

“Yeah, Nanika?” Gon asked, careful not to lose the trail by lowering his focus.

“So cool!” she cheered “Follow smell!”

“Yeah, my sense of smell is pretty sharp,” Gon said with a grin. “I spent a lot of time in the woods as a kid and smell is really useful in the woods for lots of stuff!”

“Tell more!” Nanika said.

Gon talked about different ways he'd made use of his heightened senses in the forest. How his sense of smell had drawn him to or away from plants and animals, how his hearing alerted him many times he'd been about to get into dangerous situations. Nanika was an excellent audience, attentive and engaging. She sought out knowledge with the voracity a starving animal might have when seeking out food.

Gon soon noticed they were getting close to the koshu. He turned to face Nanika and pressed a finger to his lips.

“Nanika, we have to be quiet now, the beast is close,” he said.

Nanika nodded sharply.

Gon turned back in the direction of the koshu. He had only taken a couple of cautious, quiet steps when he felt Nanika's hand on his shoulder.

“Gon, it's me,” said Alluka. “Nanika's too excited so we switched out.”

Gon heard Alluka pull a chakram to the ready. He also heard small yipping and peeping noises in front of them in the same direction as the koshu. He stopped.

“I think it might have babies with it,” he whispered, crouching down and facing Alluka. “We need to be careful.”

Gon thought for a moment.

“I remember how it's breath smelled on my mom,” he said. “Do you see any spear berry bushes around here?”

“Okay, Gon, I have to admit,” Alluka said. “Even _I_ think that's kinda weird.”

“What? That I could smell its breath on my mom?” he asked.

“ _Yeah_ ,” she answered with a stifled giggle.

Gon blushed slightly. Was it really that weird? The sounds behind him refocused him.

“Do you know what spear berries look like?” he asked.

“Yeah, they're those red, shiny berries shaped kinda like arrowheads, right? The sweet ones?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Can't sniff those out though, huh?” Alluka teased.

“It's the juice that has the strong smell!” Gon said. “I can only smell ones that are open and haven't dried out.”

“Okay, okay!” Alluka gave another hushed laugh. “Yeah, I think I saw some on our way here.”

They backtracked and found the bush Alluka had seen. They couldn't resist eating a couple while collecting the berries.

They were soon back to the area they had tracked the creature to. Gon snuck up and peered through some bushes to see the creature and plan their approach.

Gon decided on how best to approach this new beast based on what he knew about it. It was a nervous beast, prey in its ecosystem most likely. He didn't expect just calmly and slowly walking up would do the trick. He'd crouch so he would look small and hold the spear berries in his hand in front of him as an offering and an enticement to the koshu to come to him.

However, he may have forgotten to tell Alluka the plan as he started forward towards the koshu.

“Gon! What are you doing? Is this your plan?” she whispered urgently.

Gon gasped and turned around. “Sorry, Alluka!” he answered, almost forgetting to match her volume. “I forgot you were here!”

He backed up and discussed the plan with Alluka.

“We should probably go one at a time,” he said. “If we both come out at the same time, it'll probably see us as more threatening and it might run away or get aggressive.”

“Makes sense,” Alluka said. “I get it. What signal should I wait for to come out too?”

Gon thought for a moment. “I'll just wave you over,” he said. “Wait for that.”

Alluka nodded and Gon turned back to try to approach the koshu.

It noticed him right away and turned and roared at him, causing its three offspring to jump and huddle together behind it. Gon squatted close to the ground, making himself small and non-threatening. The koshu's feather fur hackles stayed raised but it closed its beak and it growled quietly. Gon offered up the spear berries, holding his hand as far out as he could. The koshu regarded Gon warily. It took a few steps towards him and sniffed but wouldn't come any closer.

Gon bit open some of the berries. The juice leaked all over his hand as he offered the berries to the koshu. It shifted its weight as it seemed to consider drawing closer to him. Then, with a grumble, it laid down.

Gon lay down on his stomach the ground as well. He clicked his tongue at the koshu to coax it over but it didn't move.

However, both he and the koshu were surprised when its young bounded out from behind it and pranced excitedly over to Gon to eat the spear berries. Their beaks reminded Gon of duckling beaks as they pushed into his palm and tried to snatch up the spear berries. They flung spear berry juice all over the place as they wiggled their beaks around. Gon tried to suppress a giggle as they tickled his hand. He looked back up at the adult to see it watching him very closely.

Slowly and carefully, he brought his other hand forward to pet the little beasts still eating from his hand. The koshu's breathing sped up slightly as Gon got closer to its offspring but it didn't act. Very gently he touched a finger to the top of one of the babies’ heads and stroked. The young koshu chirred and pressed up into Gon's touch. Soon, all three of the little ones were vying for Gon's attention and pets.

The koshu gave a sigh and rolled onto its hip, giving Gon permission to stay.

Gon stopped petting the koshu young and turned to look over his shoulder.

“Come on up, Alluka, but slowly and low to the ground,” Gon said, waving her up. “And bite open a couple of spear berries to offer the koshu.”

Alluka did as Gon said and before long, they were both sitting with the koshu and fawning over the young ones.

Nanika came out and met the koshu too and was joyously stroking its feathers when it protested. She drew her hand back to find it wet with blood.

“Gon!” she said, dismayed. “Hurt! Ko…shu hurt!”

Gon got close to the koshu where it was wounded, shushing it and reassuring it when it fretted and made to move away.

“I think… this is a gunshot graze,” Gon said, pushing its feathers back. “Look at the shape of the injury. And the bruising…”

Gon gingerly touched the darker, wrinkled area around the open part of the wound and the koshu jerked away with a cry.

“Ah, I'm sorry,” Gon said to the koshu. “It's gonna be okay, I'm gonna help you.”

Gon dug in his bag and pulled out some supplies to dress the wound with. He talked to the koshu gently the whole time as he tended to it, telling it everything he was doing as though it would understand.

When he was done, Gon petted the koshu's head. “We'll need to come back regularly to change the bandage, probably daily for the time being,” he said. “But for now, let's head back. We should tell the others that the poachers are still around here.”

Nanika shook her head. “Alluka say no. Killua - ”

“He'll get worried again,” Gon finished.

Nanika nodded.

“Maybe we should wait to tell them,” Gon said. “Let's at least still head back.”

***

Over the next couple of weeks, Alluka, Nanika, and Gon continued to visit the koshu and it's young and earned their trust. The adult koshu's wound healed nicely and the little ones were soon excitedly bounding up, expecting an offering of spear berries any time Gon, Alluka, or Nanika showed up.

Nanika was blissfully resting against the adult koshu when suddenly it tensed and whipped its head around.

“Nanika, move away,” Gon advised, getting to his feet. “It's nervous and animals are more likely to attack if they're nervous or scared. There's something… _someone_ coming.”

Nanika got up too and moved towards Gon. “Po…Poa _chers_?” she said, testing out the word as much as asking.

Gon nodded. “I think so.”

A pair of men emerged from the bushes on the other side of the clearing, both wearing smarmy smiles. The koshu roared at the men and rustled up its feathers.

“It's illegal to hunt a beast that's raising young,” Alluka called across the clearing, having switched with Nanika before the men could see her.

“Who says we're hunting?” asked the taller of the two.

“You're carrying guns and creeping up on this koshu,” she pointed out.

“Maybe we're just here to study it and the guns are for protection in case it attacks,” the shorter man argued.

“If you were, you would have just said so,” Alluka asserted. “So you're not here to study it. You're poachers.”

“Listen, I think we're getting off to a bad start,” said the taller man. “I'm Ina and this is Tad and - ”

“Cut the shit,” she spat, surprising Gon with her language. “Were you guys the ones who gave this koshu the wound it had when we found it?”

The nasty smiles disappeared and frowns replaced them.

“Maybe we were, little girl,” the shorter man, Tad, said. “You gonna do something about it if we were?”

Alluka armed herself with a chakram in each hand before switching with Nanika, their shift in appearance causing shock and horror to flood onto the poachers faces.

“Do something,” Nanika said. “Kill. _Zoldyck._ ”

The men screamed when Nanika carefully enunciated her last name as she pointed to herself. They turned and ran back into the bushes making copious amounts of noise as they fled.

“Nice, Nanika!” Gon cheered. “That was so cool!”

Nanika gave him a big grin as he high fived her.

“They'll be back, though,” he said, more soberly. “Just that isn't going to scare them off for good.”

Nanika frowned and shook her head.

“We need to come up with a plan,” he said.

***

Though it may not have actually been the wisest choice, Alluka and Gon still agreed not to tell the rest of the group about the poachers and to, instead, formulate a plan of attack together and handle it on their own. Nanika didn't like it but reluctantly agreed as well.

Gon formulated the plan they ultimately went along with.

“I don't think they'll come around again if we're both there,” he said. “So over the next few times we go see the koshu, you hide and we'll make it look like I'm alone. They'll think they can take me on if it's just me. I'll act as bait to draw them out.”

"Then we can take them back to camp before turning them in and maybe Brother will get off my back a little," Alluka said. "He's gonna be furious at first but he'll get over it."

That weekend, the poachers were bold enough to strike again.

“Hey, kid,” Ina greeted. “Your little girlfriend isn't here today?”

“No,” Gon lied. “She went home. But she's not my girlfriend and I'm seventeen.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Tad said. “You ready to step aside let us take that koshu now, huh? You're not gonna stand much of a chance against the two of us.”

Gon stood up and raised his fists.

“That's a no, huh?” said Ina. “What a shame. I hate killing kids.”

“We're gonna leave your body out here where no one's ever gonna find it,” Tad said, leveling his rifle at Gon. “Your parents are gonna be real sad.”

But before Tad could fire at Gon, one of Alluka and Nanika's chakrams came swinging down from the trees overhead, attached to a wire. It quickly wrapped around the barrel of the gun and they yanked it from his hands.

“Shit! It's the Zoldyck bitch!” Tad exclaimed. “Ina!”

But it was too late.

Alluka had already descended upon Ina. She held tight to his torso with her legs and wrapped one arm around his neck while steadying herself with the other. He groped at the arm she had around his throat and was dismayed by how little he could loosen her grip on him. She was far stronger than he'd planned for. He stumbled around, trying to keep his balance as she tried to topple him.

“Tad, help!” Ina called, pulling on Alluka's neck hold with one hand and stretching the other one out to Tad.

Tad didn't get a chance to help Ina, not that he was about to try anyway, because the moment he focused on Ina calling for help, Gon threw himself at Tad and they landed sprawling on the ground.

Tad was a good fighter and he got in some good hits on Gon as Gon tried to restrain him. Tad managed to catch Gon off guard and flip the two of them over, landing on top of Gon.

“I hate to get so rough with a kid, but you started this, brat,” Tad said. “Be a good boy and pass out.”

Alluka had succeeded in toppling Ina and had hold of him by his shirt, holding the edge of one of her chakrams to his neck with her other hand when she noticed Tad straddling Gon, choking him.

“Stay down,” she ordered Ina, shoving his hand through one of her chakrams. Quick like lightning, she took hold of his arm on either side of the chakram, lifted it and used it to slam the chakram into the dirt, trapping him in place.

Seeing Alluka approach, Tad released Gon, stood up, and stepped back, trying to decide whether or not he would make it if he tried to run.

“If you run, I will catch you,” Alluka said coldly.

Tad turned and tried to bolt anyway.

Gon had anticipated a situation like this so Alluka was able to pull out two unsharpened chakrams, tied together in advance with a length of cord. She threw them both at once, aiming low at Tad's legs. The cord between them hit the back of Tad's calves and the sudden resistance caused the two chakrams to swing around towards each other and backward, wrapping around Tad's legs and immobilizing him. He toppled over in the grass with a shout.

“Are you okay, Gon?” Alluka asked, helping him up.

“Yeah,” Gon answered. “But I feel kinda dumb needing to be rescued like that.”

“Okay, but who _looks_ dumb?” Alluka pointed out. “Us, the two who worked together and captured a pair of poachers? Or those two?” She gestured to the two poachers stuck on the ground.

“Yeah,” Gon said with a laugh.

“Okay, let's finish tying them up so we can go turn them in,” Alluka said. 

As Gon and Alluka were finishing binding Tad and Ina, a quiet, sad noise behind them caught their attention and they turned to see what it was.

They saw the adult koshu with its beak low to the ground. It keened in a hushed tone, nudging one of its offspring, which lay, partially crushed and dying on the ground, as if to urge it back to life.

“Oh no!” Alluka cried. “It must have gotten stepped on during the fight!”

“So?” Ina said dismissively from his spot on the ground.

“Excuse me?” Gon and Alluka said simultaneously.

“It's just a beast,” Tad continued. “A dumb animal. It doesn't have feelings.”

“It's _crying_ ,” Alluka growled. “One of you clumsy idiots stepped on its baby and it's crying because it's dying.”

“The real pity here,” Tad continued. “Is that we can't make much money off the body in that - ”

With very little warning, Alluka decked Tad in the middle of his sentence, bloodying his nose, splitting his lip, and knocking him unconscious.

“You have something else to say?” she asked Ina.

He wisely shut his mouth up tight.

“Good choice,” she said. “It's only fair you know I'm gonna start breaking bones next. _Joints are my favorites_.”

Nanika burst forth then.

She threw herself to the ground by the mortally wounded koshu juvenile. The adult growled defensively briefly but recognized her and refocused on its young.

“Gon, wish! Want help! Gon wish, help! Save!!” Nanika's voice raised in pitch as she continued insistently.

“You want me to make a wish so you can help the koshu?” Gon clarified. “You can do that? You can still save it?”

Nanika nodded emphatically and Gon agreed to help.

Nanika picked up the young koshu in her hands, cradling it carefully. It peeped weakly and wheezed.

“Gon! Make wish! N…ow!” Nanika begged.  

Gon made the wish and a light blossomed in Nanika's hands. The young koshu quivered and whined as Nanika used her powers to repair its damaged body and restore it to health. When she finished, it relaxed, sighed and closed its eyes.

The adult koshu watched its young in Nanika's hands with the utmost intent and everyone held their breath until the baby koshu let out a soft whistle-like snore.

“Oh! Thank goodness!” Gon said.

Nanika started to cry with joy. She gently set it down near the adult so she could wipe the tears from her face.

The adult koshu brought its head down close to Nanika and crooned softly as it nuzzled her with its beak.

Shock was plain on Nanika's face at the koshu's open affection.

Gon laughed. “I think it appreciates your help,” he said.

Nanika looked back at Gon, eyes and mouth both still wide with surprise but her expression quickly shifted to joy and she nuzzled it with her face and stroked the feathers on its head. She wanted to wrap her arms around it but she remembered that Gon said that made a lot of beasts uncomfortable so she held back.

“Love!” Nanika said. “Wel…come! Koshu welcome!!”

***

Everyone was heading back to camp after turning in the poachers to the local authorities when Killua said, “You're right.”

“Huh?” Alluka replied

“You're right,” he repeated. “You and Gon both.”

Killua paused heavily before continuing. “The two of you are strong. I get it now. I guess I knew all along but I couldn't accept it.”

Alluka could tell he still had more to say so she waited for him to continue.

“I didn't want to believe it,” Killua said. “I'm…I'm scared of losing you. You and Nanika are so important to me. Every time I imagined you going off on your own, I felt like I was never going to see you again. Like I'd hear about you dying. I couldn't bring myself to let you learn Nen because I wouldn't be able to justify not letting you leave anymore if you knew it.”

Killua's voice started to shake and he hung his head. “I'm so sorry,” he said. “You're right. I've been acting just like our family, just like…” he cringed, pained “like _Illumi_. I tried to possess you because I couldn't let go.”

He looked up at Alluka and asked, “I know I don't have the right to ask this but could you ever forgive me?”

As he watched, Nanika came out, her eyes brimming with tears just as Killua's were. She thrust her arms out and lunged into a hug with Killua.

“Forgive! Forgive Killua!” she wept.

Although she was plainly also distraught, Killua heard Nanika shushing him and stumbling through, “Don't cry,” in an effort to soothe him.

A bit later when they'd both calmed down, Killua asked, “Did you come out because Alluka is still upset with me?”

“No!” Nanika immediately denied.

“It's okay, Nanika,” Killua coaxed. “Alluka would be right to still be angry. And I can take it, you don't need to lie to make me feel better.”

Nanika made a hesitant noise and then admitted, “Yes. Alluka up…set.”

Killua nodded. “That's fair.”

They sat together in silence briefly before asking, “Nanika? Could you ask Alluka to come out, please?”

“Ai,” Nanika affirmed.

Alluka came forward and regarded Killua carefully, her arms crossed. “I forgive you, Brother, but I'm not letting it go.

Killua nodded. “I know. You're right to hold it against me. I was an asshole.”

Alluka nodded.

“But let me start to make it up to you,” he said. “On the way back, we'll go to Heaven's Arena and I'll ask Wing to take you on as a student.”

Alluka looked at him, wide-eyed. “Really?”

Killua nodded.

“I thought you were worried about how it might be different with Nanika,” she said, somewhat guarded.

Killua's brow knitted and he groaned.

“Still scared about that?” she asked, a sympathetic smile coming to her face.

“Terrified,” he confirmed.

Alluka gave a small laugh and hugged Killua. “I'll be careful,” she said.

Killua sighed as he hugged her back. “I know…”

“And I mean _actually_ careful,” she added. “Not Gon careful.”

That brought a smile to Killua's face and he squeezed Alluka. “Thank you.”

“You too, Brother,” she said.

There was a pause and then, “I'm still pissed you and Gon took on those poachers and didn't even tell us until later.”

Alluka rolled her eyes and shoved Killua. “You're ridiculous, Brother,” she said with a grin.

“I know,” he said, smiling back.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just one last bit of unfinished business...

“Mom, come on out,” Gon said, offering his hand to Kite. “It's pretty smart and it trusts me so if I bring you over, it should be okay with you too.”

He took Gon's hand and stepped out from the bushes. Just in case, they'd decided that Kite should at least start out in Zetsu but like he suspected before, it still seemed to know he was a Nen user. Its hackles were slightly raised as its gaze flickered between Gon and Kite. 

“Okay, it's nervous so get out the spear berries and let's crouch down,” Gon said. “That's what I did when I first met it.” 

Kite followed his son's lead. Gon had him offer the spear berries which it took cautiously. It ate the berries and then laid down. Kite didn't move right away, not wanting to startle it and break the small bit of trust they'd managed to build. 

Gon, on the other hand, gently touched the koshu's beak which it proceeded to push up into Gon's hand. It nodded its head back to get Gon to pet its head. As he started stroking the feathers on its head with one hand, he took his mom's with the other and slowly brought it forward to also touch the koshu’s beak. 

The koshu, which had closed its eyes when Gon started stroking its head, reopened its eyes when Kite touched it. It nodded its beak up into his hand and sniffed it. Deciding it was okay with him, it closed its eyes again and sighed. 

“Mom? Are you okay?”

Kite hadn't realized he'd started crying until Gon checked in with him. 

“Yes, Gon,” Kite said. “This is a big moment for me. It's - ” 

“Your first big hunt since you…” Gon paused briefly “came back?” 

Kite nodded, trying to blink back a few of the tears. “It makes me feel good,” he said. “It reminds me that…that I'm still a hunter.”

They sat in silence stroking the koshu for a moment until Kite leaned over to put his head on Gon's and said, “Thank you, Gon.”

“You're welcome, mom,” he replied. 


End file.
